Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

Chinese teacher came back after two days of leave to see improved behaviour too.  "宇恆的妈妈你好，今天看到你们用心准备的礼物。非常感谢。 今天宇恆下午表现很好。玩完玩具后都有收拾整齐。 也有和小朋友一起玩拼图。但中午洗手的时候有把纸巾放进洗手盆里，堵住了下水口。 之后我有跟他解释这么做是不对的，他也知道这么做不对。 之后洗手的时候他会告诉我，说他没有浪费水。我会在班上表扬他，让他感觉到骄傲。我觉得这样可以更好的鼓励他好的行为发展。"  Except for the little glitch of throwing paper into the sink, he was overall cooperative and played well with other kids. Let's see if he can score a hat trick today ..

Today we received a happy update from teacher at noon. Finally!  "Yes, he is very good today. He was so polite saying please and thank you. He listens right away with a gentle reminder. He even gave his friend a tissue when he saw him crying. I praise him whenever he displays a good behaviour. He is happy and he told me that he didn't swipe anything. So I told him, yes I see that. And that's very good. Keep it up and I gave him a hug. Hope he keeps his good mood for the whole day. 😊"  Making rainbow Popsicles  And by night, I got an even happier update. Honestly , I'm so touched I feel like crying.  "Hi Mum and Dad, good news! Cayen has maintained his good behaviour throughout the day. I was with them this afternoon to cover for Zhao Laoshi as she was not around. Cayen participated well in class activitities. He also played nicely with friends. He will do a self reminder like he would say, "play but share". This is the best day so far for all of us...

He was riding on a bicycle with Alix yesterday. They were taking turns to cycle. But he said she was heavy .. Oops, that's not very polite ...  "Hi Mummy, no major trouble today (no harm done). He played well with friends and willingly do his counting and number writings with me today without a problem.  He just got reprimanded this morning for throwing down all the worksheets I have sorted on the table. I was working on the table while Laoshi is having chinese lesson with them. When Laoshi was finished, I got up and informed the children to go toilet break first. I turned to keep the things I sorted only to find out it's all over the floor. I asked him nicely why he threw out my things. He didn't answer. I told him I worked hard to sort these out now I have to do it again. I am quite upset with you. Maybe you don't like me that's why you don't listen to me. Maybe I will give you to another teacher. He cried and said no. I love you Ms Irish. ...

After sharing his Easter bunnies in school, Cayen has been showing greater ability to share , at least over the past two days.  He got two minion eggs from the Easter egg hunt. At night, he was telling me about it ... "I have two minion eggs. I will give one to Janelle.i must think carefully , I only have two . I must go back to get more eggs, so I can share with everybody. Everybody loves the eggs like me because there's many toys inside the egg."  We met up with Julian and while they didn't exactly play together for very long , but he at least gave an Easter egg to Julian. In fact, he went over to try "save Julian" when ah Pa pointed out that Julian needed saving from the bigger kids. Cayen dragged a mattress across and tried to "ringfence" Julian. Then Caleb and Natalie came to visit. At first he was reluctant to share. But after being reminded of how they shared with him the dolphin in the swimming pool etc, he then started to ...

What's better for building rapport than gift giving ? That's exactly what we did today to celebrate Easter Day .. Thanks to Godma's hard work (20 packs!) , Cayen was able to share his Easter bunnies with his classmates and teachers. Each pack is like a real bunny .. with ears and a bunny tail !   Teacher helped to write all his friends' names on the bag so he could read all his friends' name. He personally gave them out one by one. The children were very happy. It looked like he had fun taking in charge of giving his goodies away too.  😉 He gave the extra goodie bag to his music teacher too. Looks like all went well.  Final verdict from teacher, "He is okay today, no major trouble aside from throwing books and mixing up toys which he does usually. He likes to mix up then will sort and pack after you tell him to do so." Not too bad an ending I think .. 

I was a bit puzzled by teacher's earlier comments that Cayen's not been participating in class. This is quite different from his previous self in the old school where he's quite active in participating, sometimes to the point of being over zealous.  So I asked him why he's not participating in class. He said, " I like Mindchamps more". Hmm.. so it seems he's not over Mindchamps yet. And suddenly it struck me whether all his recent dysfunctional behaviour is a reflection of his innermost feelings about the change. So I texted his old Mindchamps teacher to try confirm my understanding that he was usually active in class participation and she did. In fact, he loved arts and language. I shared with her all the problematic behaviour he has been exhibiting in the last few weeks, and she also confirmed that he hasn't done any of hat in the past before. Perhaps he had missed his old friends or the curriculum.  Poor kid, perhaps he just didn't know how to e...

I tried to counsel him over the weekend to make more new friends in school. I figured that will help to reduce conflicts as he's very nice to those whom he deems are his friends. When we checked on his teacher on Mon day end, we learnt that it was not a bad day as teacher made him sit beside her the whole time to avoid him doing his own things instead of following the class activities.  He wanted to play with this classmate (not one of the usual clique) but this classmate was not ready to play with him , so Cayen grabbed classmate on the arm and tried to drag him to the table to sit with him.  Teacher had to tell him that he can ask nicely and he doesn't need to pull his friends because it will be painful. If his classmate  is not yet ready to play with him, then maybe he can ask another friend.  Well, I guess he took my advice to "make new friends" too literally. But guess he's making an effort but with a bit of fine tuning , I think it can still...

We were just chilling out last Friday evening for some quick desserts, trying to celebrate the small success of slightly better behaviour from Cayen over the past few days.  However, before my lava cake even arrived, we got a message from teacher again .. This time , we got not one but three pieces of bad news ...  "Dear parents, fyi... the afternoon teachers told me Cayen pulled out the stuffings of our cushions at the reading corner.  He took a scissor with him and he almost cut a friend's leg with a scissor. Lucky, friend was not hurt.  Also, this morning he asked me he wanted to go toilet to wash his hands. So I let him go but I reminded him not to play with water in the sink. He said yes and he looked sincere so I let him go without following him because he seemed to be behaving well lately. So maybe I can trust him this time.  Later, his classmate came all wet and told me Cayen did that to him. I went to check in the toilet and the floor is all wet wi...

I was asking teachers about his behaviour last Friday to see how his weekend should pan out .. Ie with some activities or no activities (if he has continued to be naughty).  "Hi Mummy, good pm. Sorry, I haven't gotten back to you last Friday as  I was busy preparing for out of town trip. For the last 2 days, I received positive feedback from the afternoon teachers. They said, he is more behaved and he participated in some activities like joining in singing and dancing and cooperative in some plays among friends. In class, he has shown willingness to do work and crafts. He would still ocassionally misbehave but it is less frequent as before. He has shown a bit of improvement and I think he needs to be patted for that. So he knows we are happy for his behaviour.  😄 I believe he can improve more so we will continue to encourage him."  Actually I did notice that his morning behaviour from Tuesday to Thursday was quite good in terms of routine. He was also bright and chi...

What started splendidly unfortunately didn't end so well. Got a note from the teacher in the afternoon that Cayen has been bitten on the leg by a classmate. Root cause? During music class, as the class was asked to sit down facing the glass mirror, Cayen refused to sit. One of his classmates whom he was not so close to shuffled up near to him.  He , as usual, don't like unfamiliar people to be too near him (he feels his personal space is invaded) so he went and push him. So in retaliation he bit Cayen.  When teacher told me, she was quite apologetic. But I told her it's ok because when he push people, he needs to know that there's consequences. In fact, please quarantine him.  Teacher explains that he knows pushing is Wrong and he will apologise.,and they will use encouragement to change his behaviour ie using stickers to incentivise. During class, we will ask him to speak more and ask more questions. Sometimes they will sit on the small chair to cool down. Now he has a...

It's so refreshing that a morning can go by without a showdown or delays . This morning, he greeted me , drank his milk , change , and brush his teeth without a glitch.  Though he still greeted our neighbour ,"chocolate" (he started doing that after our adjacent neighbour gives him chocolates every time he sees him) , he at least said "goodbye" to him.  He asked to play the points games when he got into the car. When he arrived in school, he greeted his teachers and principal and did all the routine. Haven't seen him in such a good mood in a while. In fact it started over the weekend when he was generally obedient.  Let's hope it continues.  He's opening his mouth for the check (though this looks like he was roaring). He was all smiles just before this. 

After the incident yesterday, I decided to ask him to make a  card for Jayden and give him a snack. Cayen gave the card but he couldn't bear giving him the two Nougats, and he gave one instead.  Also, last time I bought and finished A book "setting limits for a strong willed child", I guess some self help is needed now. I will summarise the findings over the next few days. But in a nutshell, words doesn't mean much unless it's matched by actions. This is because strong willed kids will learn by aggressively testing limits.  Anyway , update from teacher was relatively good today.  "Hi Daddy, good pm. He is quite in a good mood today, so jolly and happy. Quite energetic because he was up and about, moving and running around the music room during music time. On our way back to class after music, he opened the waterhose and let the water flowing. He was already reprimanded before (it's been a while) not to open or play with the waterhose but I guess he has fo...

I was shocked today to receive this message from teacher. This is by far the worst that has happened so far since he bit the teacher on first week of school.  " Dear parents, Cayen peed on Cayden's bag purposely during shower time. I think he got upset with Cayden bacause Laoshi said he was shouting in class and Cayden told him to stop else he will tell the teachers he is shouting. Laoshi was helping the other children to get ready for shower when he saw Cayen happily peeing on Cayden's bag (he was smiling and giggling). He immediately said sorry when he saw Laoshi was going to approach him. He knew what he did was wrong. 😓😓😓 I already washed Cayden's bag but due to the weather, it might not get dry soon. I have to explain to Cayden's parents."  To this , we apologise profusely and volunteered to get a replacement bag but the other parent was understanding enough not to pursue further. We also promised to discipline and counsel him when home.  Teacher agree...

For a fuss free holiday with kids nearby, Legoland is always my preferred choice. This time, trip was made more fun as we travelled with Becky and family. And it's also the first time we stayed at Legoland hotel so there's a lot to look forward to. Overall, hotel is fun compared to Hotel Jen that we usually stayed in because there's lots of Lego and a puzzle to solve, with a bunk bed and TV for kids in the family room. And outside the main restaurant and in the lobby, there's mini and giant Lego blocks to keep kids busy for the whole day.  Travelling on weekdays also meant that you get express  path for all rides/attractions  at Legoland and Hello Kitty and Thomas the Train land, with only a one hour commute door to door from home to Legoland hotel in a chartered 7 seater. I was also impressed by the buffet spread that has fun kids' stuff like making your own pizza, some balloon sculpturing  , lots of desserts.  According to Sarah and Cayen, the...

As you know, he's obsessed with Paw Patrol of late. Even his teachers know, because he kept wearing those same few shirts and refused to change out of them even after bathing. Yesterday during the morning registration, Cayen sat down for the routine check. C: 看，我今天穿 Patrol dog .. Teacher: 又是 patrol dog .. 你有几件啊？ C：十件！ Teacher: 真的吗？ Ah Po: 没有啦，只有四件... Really can't trust what he's saying ..  ------- After bathing ..  C: 我要穿 patrol dog  Ah PO: 你只有四件..今天穿两件了 C: 还有两件啊，four minus two equals two .. Well , what can we say ? He's right. ---- We gave him some desserts ... He muttered, "taste like mango ...!" Well, it is mango sago dear , you are right !