Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

We've all heard about the terrible twos ..  But I didn't know that means that my baby would regress back to his hitting and scratching ways. And not to mention his nightly unwillingness to sleep in his room and the waking up in the middle of the night. (On the last point, it could be because we have changed night duties where I would do the reading instead of Ah Pa.. So I will try to rough it out for another week or so.)  Last week, he hit some kids, this week he scratched two teacher , yesterday he tore a book .. All despite punishment and coaching by teacher and at home. While his eloquence has increased by leaps and bounds, his understanding of boundaries has been lack lustre.  Given that Ah Pa and I were not always home and the grandparents tend to give in to his whims and fancy , I think it's hard for him to even know what his true boundaries are. Even if he has some inkling, enforcement is not consistent.  I don't know how to deal with it as yet -  most bo...

Last week, Teacher reported that Cayen had knocked his head though there is no obvious bump. Reason: He fell down when he kept climbing onto the chair.  The Issue: He  climbed onto the chair, spread his arms wide (the hands-free titanic look),  and exclaimed "hooray!" And he led all the other babies to do the same.  Event #2: he had arrived school early that morning. So instead of his usual class, the teachers have consolidated whoever had arrived earlier into one holding room.  Cayen went into his usual room and saw no one there. Teacher tried to persuade him to go to the holding room , and tried to hold his hands to guide him there but to no avail. He was insistent on staying in his usual room.  The Issue: the kids from his class in the holding room heard him and they all started standing up and going back to their usual room!  While I think he seem to have undue influence on the babies and one may call it leadership, I th...

Yesterday, he turned 20 months. At night he surprised me by reciting 1-10 in Mandarin when he was about to drift off to sleep. (He knew the English version about 2-3 weeks ago I think, just before counting toes). Anyway, before end of day, he was up to his old antics of throwing toys all over the places and throwing them backwards in fact. This was despite my advice to him to "慢慢放”. So without father warning, I scooped him up and parked him into naughty corner for 5 seconds. Then I told him to go pick up his toys ... And put it all back into his bucket. This is what happened . He looked so forlorn as though he was made to 劳改 (reform through labour) on his 20 mth's milestone. But c'est la vie baby .. You gotta be responsible for your actions , every day , any day . YouTube Video - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Today, Cayen had a perfect start to day. He did everything as told.. Measure temperature, open mouth, show hands, show feet and wash hands... Then he said byebye and then carry his own bag and walk into his classroom .. Lastly his classmate came out to say byebye to us with cayen.. So we believe he has made some friends.  However, as usual, there is a twist to the perfect start ..  he got his second official complaint! (Notice how when he starts to feel right at home, all the antics seem to follow) Offence: Climbing and standing on high table several times yesterday .. Then the teacher had to ask us if he would do that at home... Second happening of the day : all the babies went on strike! Apparently , food served was some mashed potato and vegetable. It must have tasted really bad because al l the kids refused to eat and they all sat there n gave silent treatment to the teacher -and they also poured the mashed potato onto the table or plastered it over the face. (When I hear ...

Yesterday when I went home, I asked Cayen if he had been good (有没有乖乖), he put a finger to his lips and signalled sshh. Ha, I was so surprised that he actually knows what I mean when I say he's a good boy or not, and he associates me with sshh.  This little boy of mine is so cheeky , yet so fun. Here's a picture of my 小不点。he can actually fit inside the Lego box !

Remember that it was not too long ago that I was glad that Cayen got used to school in the third week and was comfortable enough to walk into his classroom himself.  Then there was the Vesak day break last Tue; his MC from school on Wed; school asked them to not go to school from Thursday to this tue/wed if possible due to confirmed case of HFMD. After staying at home since last Tuesday, going back to school today was a challenge all over again.  He entered the classroom crying. Don't think he ate much as he was really upset. When we picked him up at noon, he looked really upset.. His face was painted with all these accusations and hurt emotions , "why did you all leave me here?", "where did you go?", "what took you so long" and "I miss u" ..  Poor baby, routine derailed when he just got accustomed to it. It's ok baby .. First lesson for you : change is the only constant. You might as well get used to it.  I started my blog-and-tell again...

As the usual guidance goes, no Tv or iPad until after 2. We obviously breached both. Well , due to multi parental weaknesses, the TV is always on in the morning and evening and the iPad / iPhone is always lying around as well. Cayen will signal with his finger "1" to say he wants to watch 1 episode of cartoon on iPhone and he will point to the Tv to ask for it to be turned on.  Yesterday he pulled 2 stools in the correct tv watching position , sat down in 1 chair and ordered my mum to sit down in the other chair and to turn on the TV  Thankfully, he will also order me to read a book by his wild gesturing as well. At least, he's not addicted to just harmful media, but multimedia ... 

Cayen had a scratching problem . He used to scratch when he was upset about something and also when he was feeling just fine.  Outcome : all caregivers , from parents to grandparents and godparents, were all scratched every other day. It really hurt as he would dig in his nails (no matter how short) and scratch and usually we would see blood.  I googled everything I could about "aggressive 1 year old" , "violent baby" etc and tried different ways from slapping the offending hand to nagging to scolding and warning , nothing worked. In fact, sometimes when we slapped the back of his hand, he would slap us back.  Finally , I figured that perhaps he just needed a diversion or an alternative wat for him to express himself, so I decided to teach him a new trick - patting . So everything he scratch, I would put my hands on my hips and say "I'm angry" and growl a little. When he patted me, I would say "happy!" and then smiled very widely. I did that...