Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

After the previous article, one of my friends pointed us some of her perspectives on the topic as well. And I'm glad she did because those are very valid points too and in doing so, she's an activist too , but for a different cause - the toilet cleaning aunties. Her sharing (I summarised in bullet points) - Toilet cleaners are often old people... they work long hours with tired body and aching feet and I have seen supervisor scolding them. - No one likes to do such a job but they are trying to make ends meet. - While she may nicely talk to the auntie on wastage, she will not write a complaint as it may cause them their job. Perhaps they are not so educated or just want to get their job done by hook or by crook and bring the bread home. And the next day, they have to start their dreaded chores again. - Yes, the environment matters but human matters more. That auntie may lose her rice bowl and have no means to bring money home. She knew of cases where these people work as clea...

Given Cayen and his Ah Pa's obsession with Pokemon, naturally we had to be the first to visit the Pokemon exhibition inside the SEA aquarium when it opened two weeks ago. While it was interesting to see the various interactive exhibits , I was quite surprised the area was rather small. There's 8 stations in total plus a pokedex showing all the different Pokemons. And each person can only have a Pokeball (there's 3 different categories that one can choose from based on difficulty level).  Using that one Pokeball, you will choose 4 out of the 8 stations to place the Pokemon and see the clues they give. End goal is to guess the Pokemon that resides within the ball. At the end of day, there's literally no prizes for guessing correct, just some satisfaction.  I was glad that the game didn't involve any Pokemon gaming on the phone and involved mainly the booth interaction. Honestly I think it wasn't that exciting but since Cayen liked it, it was good enough for me.  A...

After sharing his Easter bunnies in school, Cayen has been showing greater ability to share , at least over the past two days.  He got two minion eggs from the Easter egg hunt. At night, he was telling me about it ... "I have two minion eggs. I will give one to Janelle.i must think carefully , I only have two . I must go back to get more eggs, so I can share with everybody. Everybody loves the eggs like me because there's many toys inside the egg."  We met up with Julian and while they didn't exactly play together for very long , but he at least gave an Easter egg to Julian. In fact, he went over to try "save Julian" when ah Pa pointed out that Julian needed saving from the bigger kids. Cayen dragged a mattress across and tried to "ringfence" Julian. Then Caleb and Natalie came to visit. At first he was reluctant to share. But after being reminded of how they shared with him the dolphin in the swimming pool etc, he then started to ...

Cayen told me to stop at this monkey figurine at the store as he wanted to take a picture. I flatly refused because he had been disobedient. Instead of walking properly, he kept sliding to the ground and kneeling there with every few steps.  I told him sternly, “remember the motto? You don't listen to me, I don't listen to you. "  He looked quite amused and said laughingly, " what motor? Motor psycho (he meant cycle). Is it motor psycho?"  As usual, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.  But actually I like to devise mottos as they are easier for him to remember and reinforce concepts. For instance, I have this other motto/question..,  "Do you want 10 times yes, 1 time no? Or 10 times no 1 time yes?" He would always looked pained and says "10 times yes and 1 time no" because it means he can't do what he want to do.  Before using this motto, I always emphasize that I am saying yes (since it's so hard to find occasions when it happen...

It's so hard to teach him to share .. I also read some articles that we shouldn't force them to share when they are not ready. Nonetheless, I would teach him the concept and hope that he would get it over time.  Today over dinner, we had some matcha ice cream. He generously shared a few spoonfuls with me and also a spoonful for Godma, which I applauded and encouraged.  After dinner, Godma went to get a milkshake from the gelato store. He saw the display and exclaimed , "whoa!! Ice cream!!"  Then, he looked at her earnestly and said, "just now I shared with you , you know?" Godma was amused and reminded him that she only took one mouthful earlier. Then he repeated himself again,"just now I shared with you you know.." Well son, another thing to learn apart from sharing 分享, it's called 不求回报 (don't expect returns) . 

We bumped into our next door neighbour. He said hello to Cayen. Cayen said Hello in return. I smiled and told my neighbour he's deemed a friend now as Cayen wouldn't usually reciprocate with a  hello as he has become shy. To that, Neighbour was very pleased and went into his house get some treats and give to Cayen. Cayen received it and said "thank you!" Once Cayen enters the house, he exclaimed in a rather puzzled tone  "he gave me this , again. I don't know why. " . He said this because our dear neighbour has given him this treat a few times now but Cayen doesn't quite know why.  Well son, this is called 人情味！(human kindness !) Talking about nice neighbours, my neighbour-friend will always buy us treats when they go travelling. Feels nice & fuzzy to live in a nice kampong !

Cayen saw a bakery in the distance and naturally he gravitated towards it. Then his eyes gleamed as he saw rows of Macaroon. Ah Pa says he could choose one hence, he went over to the shop staff.  C: hello ! I want lemon macaroon. 阿爸付钱.. The shop staff packed it and when C received it, he exclaimed excitedly , " yeah !!! " Then, Ah Po asked him for a bite, C didn't really want to give and he said , " 很甜哦..” hoping she would give up. (Just like how he told her earlier that "不要啦， 不好吃的啦， 你不喜欢的...” when he was asked by Ah Po to share the Japanese rice. ) Then , Ah Pa asked him to share with me , and to this, Cayen said , "Ah Ma is sick!".  Recently , he has been slightly more willing to share though there's still more room for improvement ! 

A toddler's vomiting is very traumatising ，not only for the kid but also for the adult. And unfortunately Cayen puked two times this weekend , on Saturday in a cab and on Sunday at the entrance of 海里捞. In the first instance, I was carrying Cayen in the cab and without warning , he simply started vomiting. Intuitively, I cupped my hands and tried to catch the vomit. Ah Pa scrambled to find a plastic bag. Taxi Uncle didn't flinch and even volunteered to give us some tissue paper and plastic bag. When we apologised, he kept reassuring us that it's okie. Things happened and it happened for a reason. At that moment , he didn't know the extent of damage yet he was so understanding and sympathetic. Thankfully I managed to limit the extent of spillage largely to my shirt and his. But still, the puke smell was horrendous. When the driver said that he would just wind down the windows , he said it very kindly and without any angst. That's when I really felt true Kindness ...

Today we brought Cayen to the wet market .. I was just speaking to my father on how people could rent a stall cheaply from the government at a couple hundred bucks when the woman at the next table just chirped in to say that that's not the case. There's hidden costs and it would come up to around 2000 +. While she might be eavesdropping to some extent, I thought she's just trying to be helpful and Kay Poh all at the same time.  When we were about to leave, I saw a kid in pram coming towards us. I asked Cayen to give a wave and kiss as usual , and after he did so, the kid's grandmother came over to talk. She spoke to us about some weekend when a mother was shaking in fear and almost hysterical when she couldn't find her baby at the market. No one went to help her at all (so heartless??) . Anyway, it turned out to be a false alarm as her friend took the baby away.  After experiencing these chatty and friendly encounters in the morning, I can't help but f...