Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

Ah Po sprained her leg or pulled a muscle , and could hardly walk. The caring Cayson asked her if she need his help to carry her. 沒有白疼.. also took the chance to teach them yesterday on how to collect the laundry. Cayen helped with a couple of pieces before being distracted by the TV. Cayson followed through till the last piece was collected.  One Sunday, I was trying to sweep and mop the floor. Cayen asked to help and so I let him try. He earnestly cleaned the floor quite thoroughly though his eyes were drawn to the TV towards the end , where he cleaned the same patch many times. Cayson was also given a wiping job so he wouldn’t fight over the wiping - he was extremely conscientious about his responsibility.  Apart from this, I also realised that one month just passed like that. Cayson had concluded his second ever stage performance and Cayen had completed his second month in Primary school.  Cayen has finally moved on to pasta after one month of chicken rice. And...

Just before our trip, I heard loud banging noises coming from the washing machine. My mum said it has been like that for a while. But since we were travelling last week, we didn't get a chance to get someone to take a look.  After we returned from our trip with a big load of clothes, Mum wanted to try the washing machine again, with a small load just to test.  In the meanwhile, I just went to call up the official service hotline to enquire on the potential reasons for the noise. The diagnosis didn't sound fatal and probably require a change of part , so I made another call to another service company to compare prices. Before the service person could arrive, I realised that my laptop was not charging. In fact,  the electricity had short circuited and tripped. Not a good sign.  When the service man came , he took a quick look and gave his judgment. No point repairing , would cost too much relatively. Why?  He replied that because the constant pressure had caused s...

Ah Pa went for a short trip over the weekend . Cayen woke up on Friday and said he wanted to send Ah Pa to th airport. To his horror, Ah Pa was gone already. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks. He was inconsolable .  In order for me not to be completely late, I decided to FaceTime Ah Pa with him so that he could at least try to start his routine. Little did I know that the crying became even louder as he realised that Ah Pa was leaving without him. But at least he started his routine and so we continued to FaceTime Ah Pa through the toilet and breakfast routine too.  So on Saturday, to make it more fun for him, we went to s friend's house for play date and also 2 playgrounds at night. I thought he had occupied himself sufficiently to forget about Ah Pa.  But the moment he came home, he asked me if we could FaceTime Ah Pa .. Ahz.. what a sweet little boy. Then on Sunday , we went to the airport to be picked up. We first met Caleb at the indoor playground at T3, and asked the...

Despite the much improved behaviour in Cayen  this year versus last year , the last two months were less optimal compared to first four months at home. For example, in the first four months, we no longer have the morning struggles of the routine from eating breakfast to teeth brushing and less of the disobedience of instructions in generally. Recently some of the bad habits have crept back in recent weeks and that got us quite baffled so I tried to understand what has changed in the last two months. And I have a sense of the potential reasons. So I interviewed Cayen .  Me: why you don't listen to instructions nowadays ? Is something wrong ? (Silence) Me: is it because of Didi (Cayson)? C: Yes, I feel jealous ? Me: when do you feel jealous ? C: when you 抱抱弟弟..（carry Cayson)  Me: when else do you feel jealous? C: when you give didi biscuits  And so, the truth is out. The dysfunctional behaviour is his way of getting attention when he feels like we are focusing more on ...

I was having lunch with a friend when I suddenly saw a missed call and a Watsapp message "SOS". My heart dropped and when I called back Da, I was told that he had called an ambulance and he's on his way home. He didn't know much details as he had also just received the call for help from my mum. " Did he fall ? Was there blood ? Did he knock his head?" All these thoughts started to fly through the head. I feared the worst. I quickly grabbed my bag and rushed down to hospital. Then I decided to call my mum to find out what's the issue.  Apparently my dad was carrying Cayson while she's at the supermarket and as Cayson was squirming away, he twisted his body along in order not to drop him, and then he experienced a sharp pain in his stomach. He drove all of them home and the pain became worse and worse. It spread to his legs and he was in such great pain he asked my mum to cal for ambulance. For a person who greatly disliked doctors and hospitals, the ...

I've been wanting to help Cayen put on more weight . So doing that involves exposing him to different foods in he hope that he likes something. Letting him have regular exercise every week as that helps , at least for that one day.  However, despite best efforts, some meals like breakfast remains challenging as he doesn't seem to be hungry or have the appetite.  Earlier on, I have bought Si Shen Fen (四神粉) to add to his soups in the hope that it improves his appetite. However, after one year of purchase, it's still sitting in the cupboard as my mum keeps saying that there's not enough chances to add this (cox he only eats dinner at home three days per week), or that it looks like the taste will be very strong (she hasn't even tried it yet) .  Key takeaway:  - there's no point complaining about problems if the solutions are available but one doesn't even want to hazard a try.  - though I'm not always able to make it home in time before he finishes his meal...

Last year, when I heard loud helicopter sounds near my house, I started my own CSI investigation by texting my neighbours and I also called the police. I asked them to investigate what happened as the noise was ongoing for a while. Eventually, it turned out someone was sent to Tan Tock Seng hospital via helicopter but it was false alarm. Nonetheless, after the incident , I realise that most people would not act, they just heard the loud noise and went back to try sleep.  I think I wrote to Facebook page of someone (maybe our prime minister or someone else) and suggested that there should be an easier way that citizens can report suspicious activities - somewhere central and can check or coordinate with various departments or intel based on the info received. Fast forward one year, finally I see the setup of SGsecure app. It's most probably not due to my one Facebook message or call to the police but this is a move in the right direction given the increased terrorism threats. Even a...

To encourage Cayen's ability to talk about his experiences and feelings , usually I will ask him about his day and also share my day with him. This is done over dinner or during bedtime. I think this is important , because I hope he will always feel comfortable enough to share his joy and also his issues/problems with us even after he grows up into a teenager. As a side benefit, his storytelling skills should improve too since he has to recall his day and share the highlights and lowlights as well.  Usually, I will ask him things like: how's your day; what are the happy stuff; what are the sad stuff; who did you play with ; who are your best friends now.  There was one particular day which was rather funny: C: How's your day Ah Ma? Me: Long day , hence I'm eating dinner so late.  C: Why? Me : Some people pushed their work to me so I have to work late.  C: They push you ? Me: No. What I mean is that the work was supposed to be done by them but they didn't do it so th...

Teacher informed us that it's his classmate's birthday today. So yesterday I asked him to make a card and he obliged.  As I had a conference call from 8pm onwards,  I didn't realise the issue after he had completed his work and shown me proudly. I noted he had made extra effort to colour inside the shape.    Well, issue was that he had drawn on the back of my bank statement. You see, as part of being environmentally friendly , usually I will give Cayen scrap paper to use for his drawings at home. So he's very used to going to the scrap paper box (usually comprising of bank statements or advertisements) to pick a piece to draw or write on. When I told him that when we make a card, we needed to use a fresh piece of paper , he looked a bit disapppointed. So I tried to think of another way , which was to cut the original drawing into separate pieces and paste on a fresh piece of paper so he could still give it to Val.  When we were in the car, there's another issue....

Many books say that we need to expose babies or young kids to the same food many times before they will even eat it. I don't know about you but it sure sucks when you spent one hour baking or cooking per the recipe book to find that baby or toddler won't even take a second bite. Hence, here's my alternative strategy - go out to look for nicely decorated kiddy meals or promise a sensory visual treat.  1. Jack's place  They served quite a few kid's meals , which we can also top up to get macaroons or ice cream (which is my treat if he finishes his food). You can choose from a selection of mini steak, fish and chip, sausage and egg etc.  2. Kuishinbo (Suntec city) They have a whole section with kids' food and desserts. It's very hard not to be impressed with the selection and decoration. . Good if you want to get them excited about food.  3 Slappy Cakes I went to the one at Turf City Grandstand and I think I saw one right outside Universal Studio as well. Kids ...

Ah Pa was reading to Cayen a book on dinosaurs. Midway, he paused as Cayen looked very troubled , as if he's going to cry. Ah Pa asked him on what's wrong and encouraged him to share his problem so perhaps they could work it out together. This is what happened next. C: Ah Pa, what is the middle number from zero to infinity ? P: Erm , since infinity is never ending , and for whatever number you name, there will always be a next bigger number , there's no such value . Or perhaps the middle number is "infinity divided by 2" P: actually Cayen, so far we have been teaching you 1,2,3,4,5... 10 but we never taught you about negative numbers. Actually the smallest number is not zero , it can be negative 1,2,3,4....10 and it can even be negative infinity.  C: oh, so zero is not the smallest number. I thought zero is the smallest number.  Just as Ah Pa was going on with more examples about positive numbers and negative numbers, suddenly Cayen exclaimed , " I know! The ...

I don't remember how it started but we mention God in a sentence. Cayen asked , "what is God?" I think we stuttered a bit - we are not exactly religious people. Then I tried very hard to think and explain in terms that he may understand.  Well, long time ago, there was no humans, only God. Then he decided to make a man and woman, who got married and made children. If people behave well, then next time they join God in Heaven. If they do bad things, then they will go to Hell.  Some people call their God Jesus , some call it Allah, some have many gods like elephant etc,  some believe in Buddha. Some  do not believe in a God. Some believe in a God but are just not sure which version is it.  Well, I think there's just one God, but it just looks and sounds different to different people in different parts of the world.  Next time when you grow up, you get to choose which God you believe in. 

Day 17 - Mon Decided to call her Handphone again. Someone picked up but they didn't seem to understand me. No reply to message. Day 18 - Tue  I called agency and asked her if I should cancel the work permit. She advised me to wait as she just had a helper who got stranded in Philippines due to typhoon and flight cancellation that day. But my helper supposed to be back last Thursday. Then again,  I wondered if it's due to the earthquake last Wednesday , but phone has ringtone and people picked up.  By night , I went to her room to check what she left behind. Still some home clothes left but not much. Also, I noticed the few $2 notes that's part of a fengshui display on a shelf in her room is no longer there - I had left it there earlier as litmus test of honesty.  I guessed she's not coming back.  Day 19 - Wed Worked till 11pm. Very tired.  Day 20 - Thurs Called agency again. Local agency managed to track her down via Facebook. She said she's not coming back...

Day 10 - Mon  It was a most eventful day. Baby took a while to sleep.  Day 11 - Tue  I went for yoga lesson today and had a good stretch. However, the good lesson experience was marred by their silly booking system where one cannot book sessions outside of a certain operating hours so it's "fair" to customers ie one cannot book in the wee hours of the night, especially for busy branches at Ngee Ann city.  However, for a busy professional working at my branch in CBD , I only have time to book in the late of the night or early morning before the working hours begin. Currently , I find that I am unable to secure lunch slots and after work slots to start with on many days and the inability to book using the app at all hours is making things worse.  Also , one can't book ahead of time like 2-3 weeks in advance. If the concern is about overcrowding and to be fair, then they should have a policy that each member can only book up to x times per peak hour per week. It's ...

Day 9 - Sun  Brought Cayen for his sports class and then for some Korean BBQ to take in more iron. We also let him try to cook his own meat for the first time. It's good fun for him. While variety is not huge, but for price of $24.90 per pax with 15% discount using DBS card for a buffet with decent meats, one could not complain much. Also, with $8 top up, one can opt for a collagen soup with different flavours too. Good for hungry people.  Went home thereafter and tried to keep everyone entertained at home. Baby seemed to have a bit of flu and so we started the onion in sock treatment again.   Ah Gong and Ah Po were asked to play chess with Cayen repeatedly - 输了还要继续玩. They also realised how Cayen kept winning them - he sneakily placed the chess pieces in such a way that he would devour them the moment they turned over the chess piece. While that's super sly and scheming , we were also amazed at how he thought of the idea himself at a grand age of 4.5 years old.  Anyw...