Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

I think I’m starting to have an inkling on what tough it will be to send my boys off to army in future. Sending him to a 4 night camp was already quite a daunting experience.  I was worried for him on so many fronts. How would he wake up in the morning if he couldn’t hear the alarm? How would he get along with three stranger roommates? How would he work in a big team for the hackathon when he’s amongst the youngest in the camp at 10 years (think the age range is from 10-18). How would he handle the laptop, iPad and iPhone without losing them? Would he know how to sign on to wifi? Lots of questions on my mind.  Well, here was how the days went last week :  Tuesday After our breakfast together, we went him off to D resort where all the kids will be staying. They will be ferried to NUS on a daily basis thereafter for their activities. I gave him a quick low down on how to use the phone and WhatsApp just in case since he doesn’t have a phone and only used it to play games....

After the initial brush with some bullying in the initial months, there’s no news in the past few months except exams.  Cayen had his first exams and results were quite low even for his usual best subjects like Maths. I think it ranges from 50+ (English) to 80+ (Chinese ironically).  Hence, since I don’t really know how to system works , I asked the teachers if there’s some median or average class grade. And I tried to explain that I’m not kiasu parent but I just want to know how these marks stack up, because whilst it’s a bit low on the absolute front, I think it’s pretty ok if it’s average or median since the exams are different from the usual cirriculum and there’s no need for concern.  Teachers say that as long the kids meet the threshold of 70 marks, it’s considered passing. And anything less than that will mean that teachers will reach out to us more.  In class, he’s apparently a good learner who’s not afraid to ask questions though he can get distracted and fi...

It’s slightly over two weeks. Seems like he still hasn’t made friends in class yet (except for one girl who’s in the school bus) though he seemed to like his school bus friends as they are always joking around, with his first friend leading the pack sometimes. They even played games on the bus something similar to Cluedo / Amongst Us concept. However, sad news is that he  also learnt that his first friend is leaving the school bus by February and rejoining only next year as she’s taking public transport.  His lunch reportoire is still chicken rice with different sides every day though he managed to try croissants on Fridays after I told him about the cafe. His review of the new school overall is that the food is cheaper but smaller in serving. Guess this really speaks to his priorities.  He also learnt how to make a lantern using Ang Pow this week and he was quite pleased about it . He came home to make one more on his own.   He has just started his computer lessons ...

After his Covid vaccination on Saturday, I was concerned about him forgetting and inadvertently running or participating in strenuous activities in school. So I reminded Ah Pa to remind teacher as he has PE lessons soon.  However, we understand from Chinese teacher that Cayen was very on the ball and had promptly informed the teacher of his condition and that he cannot exercise in the next two weeks. Teacher however told him to tell the PE teacher instead. I cannot tell if he’s responsible or trying to just skive and relax as a result of that.  Anyway, his canteen food today was chicken rice, egg and egg sandwich today. Again it’s because the queue was the shortest. I asked if he could walk faster so he could try other food but he said it was not possible as one teacher would lead them to their designated seat and another would release them into the queues. At the rate he’s going, I reckon he might be eating chicken rice forever.  Today his only friend was playing with an...

Before he got get home, we had some insights of his behaviour in school. Through the online chat with Chinese teacher, these were the comments: “ Cayen’s behaviour is good, attitude is good, he even help to remind teacher of things. And he loves drawing it seems, but we need to remind him on the appropriate time to draw”  Oops, I think reading between the lines, it could potentially mean that he’s “kaypoh” (busybody) and that he’s not paying attention in class.  Hence, once he got home, our first question was what exactly he reminded the teacher of. He said that he reminded them that it was end of class. We were horrified. That sounded like he couldn’t wait to end lessons and exit the class. We asked why he would say that. He said that teacher asked him to remind them of this as there’s people taking the school bus. Ok, then it doesn’t sound that bad.  On why he was drawing , he said he’s drawing dinosaurs as it was very boring and the teachers were repeating things that ...

He donned the PE shirt today and I saw the motto on the back of the shirt …   “ 勤 慎 端 朴 - Diligence, Prudence, Respectability, Simplicity”  which I’ve not seen in a while. That’s my secondary school motto too so it felt quite nostalgic.  The day whizzed past and here’s the highlights of his day.  - He found the shortest way to ascend to his classroom on 6th floor. I think he described something about starting from the field, crossing to second floor, crossing the rainbow part of the building, taking of the two paths etc. It sounded real complicated like squid game but he’s quite pleased he found a “shortcut” though I don’t quite see how so .  - He still didn’t speak to anyone in the class except to tell the guy behind to stop tapping his fingers or kicking his chair. And it so turns out he’s from SJI too. He spoke a little to his only friend on school bus today. Friends count to date : 1 .  - He ate chicken rice with egg and corn soup. He was quite pleased ...

He’s started new school today. Given his usual personality, I was worried about him being able to make friends today . So I tried to ready him ahead of time using my tips of making friends. 1. Smile  2. Introduce yourself  3. Try to find common interests - minecraft , demon slayer , anything  4. See if anything else is shy like you, go make friends.  He said it’s “embarrassing” , it doesn’t work that way. It’s  not so easy. I asked why. He said he read from “Diary of a wimpy kid”. Erm, how is that a good reference ? Well, parents, be careful of what they read. It drives irrational fear.  In the end , we even gave him an “Among Us” mask to promote conversations (but sadly it didn’t work). Will try Demon Slayer tomorrow I guess.  Anyway, guess it’s really up to him at the end of the day. I eventually became more concerned about his ability to scale six floors in his school, especially with that huge bag that looked so heavy. That day, we did a trial run ...

Cayson’s QOTD: “ You cannot scold me , I’m a kid.” “ 静静有条！” Cayson exclaimed when trying to ask Cayen to keep quiet at night. (It’s actually 井井有条） He probably declared after he wiped the table, “干干净净”. I was impressed and asked him where he learned it from. He said Berries. Then he asked me earnestly again if I had gone to Berries when I was a kid.  Recent other chats Cayen:  What is the tax? 7%?  Me: Yes  Cayen: So for every $100, I have to pay $7. Oh then I will just buy $50 so I never need to pay the tax Me: No, it doesn’t work that way, it’s from first dollar onwards…  (For the rest of the whole night, he self entertained and made jokes about asking for 7% extra for everything) ———————————— Cayson’s meet the parents session  As usual, he got glowing comments about being a model student. In fact, he seemed to enjoy reading and learning and would even consult his good friend I in school when there’s words he doesn’t know how to read from the textbook. An...

Cayson likes to play chinese chess with Ah Po but he doesn’t like to lose. And Ah Po claims she often loses if she doesn’t wear her glasses. So one day after Cayson lost a few games, Ah Po’s glasses went missing ! Cayson had hidden it away .. only to return it the next day.  Ah Po was amused by how he could remember where he had hidden it and how he hates losing.  ——  I made an attempt to cook Japanese pasta and I threw in shreds of onions for the taste. Cayen picked them up one by one. I was frustrated and asked if he had an onion detector in mouth. He replied, “ I have a tongue”. Lol ! 

2020 started with a Big Bang (on the floor) for Cayen where he fractured his arm during basketball training. That meant 2 months plus of cast and repeated trip to the hospital for replacement of the bandage / cast. This also meant that he further ballooned from the 18kg in Jan 19 to the current 29kg given the lack of activity and continued appetite from his double plates of chicken rice/pasta and chicken patty during recess.  Albeit being restrained in his cast, he took part in the Maths Kangeroo competition which was held online this year where he scored a Gold and qualified for the Singapore International Maths Olympiad Challenge where he scored 1 individual bronze and 2 team bronze. Unfortunately, the lockdown meant that he has too much dosage of Youtube particularly minecraft / preston and he also learnt how to manuvoer the laptop (as a result of all those home based learning) to download more free games to play.  Thankfully he re-ignited his interest in internatioanl and ...

Cayson and Cayen were at the river safari last week with Godma. When they came back, there were all having some kind of leg pain. They eventually feel asleep  at 10pm  but getting them to wake wasn’t easy, especially for Cayson. When I dropped him off at school today, he didn’t want me to leave after the goodbye hug. In fact it got tighter and soon he started bawling. That’s very unlike him as he’s a very easy child to handle even in the mornings. Finally his teacher came back and carried him upstairs. Teacher was nice enough to send me a note 15 minutes later that he’s already gone and enjoying breakfast with his friends so I should not worry.  Apparently in late afternoon, he went to teacher and apologised to the teacher for crying. He told his teacher he was sorry he cried during morning drop off because he never slept well last night. What a wonderfully sensitive and self aware child he is at 4 years old!  —— On the other side, Ah Pa came back with freshly colour...

Cayson has very high sense of empathy. Recently, Cayen fell sick after first day of school (I wonder if he’s allergic to school??!) and this is what Cayson said. On first day when Cayen’s sick  Cayson: Are you ok Ah Yen ?  On second day when Cayen’s sick Cayson: (first thing in the morning) Are you feeling better Ah Yen ?  (Right after breakfast) Cayson: Can I have Vitagen? Ah Po: No, it’s too cold to take in the morning. Cayson: But I don’t have cough!  Me: Ah Yen is having cough. Must be he has had too much Vitagen.  Ah Po: Let’s not buy anymore. Cayson: Haha I buy already (he just bought from supermarket the previous night) ———- This bedtime ... while he reads his book, I start the new year with a new book too.  One hour later  Me: Let me share with you something that I have read. It offers you tips on how to persuade people effectively.  Cayen: So you mean I can ask you for Minecraft  Me: No, cox I have read the book, this doesn’t work on...

Brought Cayen and Cayson to the zoo yesterday. Saw a lot of adults and children and all were in awe of the animals that they are seeing and how everybody seemed to really love the animals , from snakes and tortoises to elephants and giraffes.  However, the sad part is that many of these animals are already endangered and may become extinct very shortly. I fear for the future of our children as they will inherit an unlivable planet from us - very hot weather, plastics in our oceans and seafood, increased sea levels, extinct wildlife... Many years down the road, they will all ask why we didn’t do anything when we could.  If we relate back to our recent crazy hot weather in Singapore, the heatwaves in France and UK, it’s quite evident that the planet is not the same anymore and it’s caving in fast with all the ice melting. The planet is giving us some severe warning signs, and giving us the last chance to act before irreversible change happens (when we hit the tipping point). Thi...