Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

As I'm going back to work soon, I decided to accelerate my room spring cleaning process over the last few days. Today, I put on some finishing touches by hanging some photoes using some pretty paper frames and clips. Then, I went to pick Cayen up as usual. Brought him downstairs to ride his bicycle as we were early today. I tried to teach him to use momentum to go up a slope and how to use the brakes while coming down. After we stopped playing for a while, he suddenly told me that he had meetings with Janelle,Alix and some other girls in school. I was quite amused. I decided this was a teaching moment and decided to teach him on how to conduct a meeting. Here's a summary: - we need a chairperson and attendees.  - people who arrive late lose their voting rights  - we need to have an agenda and stick to the timing else people will get bored - we need to minute down stuff in case we forget  - if we are unclear of what we heard, we need to clarify  Wit...

It has been 9 months since he changed school. And with the recent incident we saw in school, I was naturally concerned if he's happy in this new school. Hence, I tried to litter some questions every now and then to check his happiness quotient.   Me: do you like your friends in Pat's schoolhouse or Mindchamps? C: Pats  Me: how about the playground? Which one is nicer ?  C: there's no playground in Mindchamps Me: how about the music lessons? C: Mindchamps don't have the piano, pats has.  Me: how about gymnastics? C: Mindchamps don't have that lesson, only have the indoor gym  Me: how about arts and crafts ? C: oh, there's no lessons on that, but can do a lot of arts and craft in Pats.  Overall, Pat's the winner. I'm just quite surprised he remembered all the details about Mindchamps.  That night when he was taking a shower a little later than usual , I was concerned about his wet hair ... So I decided to ask him about his school  Me: hey, in school...

I've been down with flu the past week as the nightly awakenings hence interrupted sleep in the last month have taken a toll on my health, despite my efforts to compensate by sleeping in later.  This week, my helper covered my duties and I slept more regular hours. This also meant that I could send Cayen to school and be awake to play with baby Cayson when he's at his cutest and most vibrant time of day, chuckling and "talking" non-stop.  Not sure if it's by coincidence but Cayen's behaviour in school this week was the best in weeks.  A few things that's different this week:  - I sent him to school personally and would prep talk / role play with him in the car on what to do when his friend wants to play with his toys (correct answers: either ask for a bit more time to play or share the toys) , what to do if someone cuts his queue (right answer: to gently inform person that queue is behind him or just let it go) . These were the common triggers for conflicts...

This is the process after implementing the rewards chart to date :  Day 1 (Tue): he seemed excited , he talked a lot about the dos and don'ts (he even asked Ah Po to cook broccoli , peas and carrot every day so he can earn the veggie stars. However, it's all talk but no action Day 2 and 3: still a slow start but starting to earn the peeing and pooing stars  Day 4: brought him out for dinner to change the diet and hope he's more inspired to eat on his own.  And it succeeded. We had a smooth and fuss free meal of soup , garlic bread, pork chop and fries. Day 5: Ah Pa brought him to universal studio but he didn't understand why he's going so soon because that was supposed to be the reward after earning 30 stars. Well, that's the reason why I was dissuading Ah Pa from choosing that place but Ah Pa wanted to spend some quality time with him and so they went. Good thing was that he was on his best behaviour the whole day. Ate well and did the toilet thing well too.  D...

Since last Thursday's hat trick of good behaviour, good behaviour has continued to date. Both English and Chinese Teacher have given positive feedback that he has been better at controlling himself.  He also seems to enjoy school a lot better now as well as the company of his friends. She often sees him playing well with them now. Hope it continues.  More reasons to celebrate in the last 10 days are as follows: - we have succeeded in weaning him off his milk bottle (which he like to take for comfort in the morning and evening)  - he also stopped his habit of waking exceedingly early to watch cartoons on weekends and now willingly go out or ask to go swimming / playing with water. - while he's still trying his luck, I have refused to let him eat dinner in front of the TV too , and he has been sitting with us at the dining table feeding himself .  - he has been voicing out more frequently when he needs to pee. So now the only thing that remains is the pooping part....

Yet another happy update yesterday .. Looks like the ice has truly been broken. Today he woke up grouchy and a bit sleepy. Hope the good behaviour can continue.   "Dear parents, Cayen is okay today. He is more willing now to listen and heed gentle reminders. He is more participative in class as well. He used to prefer to sit on the chair at the back during lesson time but now I see him willing to sit among his friends. 😊"

Chinese teacher came back after two days of leave to see improved behaviour too.  "宇恆的妈妈你好，今天看到你们用心准备的礼物。非常感谢。 今天宇恆下午表现很好。玩完玩具后都有收拾整齐。 也有和小朋友一起玩拼图。但中午洗手的时候有把纸巾放进洗手盆里，堵住了下水口。 之后我有跟他解释这么做是不对的，他也知道这么做不对。 之后洗手的时候他会告诉我，说他没有浪费水。我会在班上表扬他，让他感觉到骄傲。我觉得这样可以更好的鼓励他好的行为发展。"  Except for the little glitch of throwing paper into the sink, he was overall cooperative and played well with other kids. Let's see if he can score a hat trick today ..

Today we received a happy update from teacher at noon. Finally!  "Yes, he is very good today. He was so polite saying please and thank you. He listens right away with a gentle reminder. He even gave his friend a tissue when he saw him crying. I praise him whenever he displays a good behaviour. He is happy and he told me that he didn't swipe anything. So I told him, yes I see that. And that's very good. Keep it up and I gave him a hug. Hope he keeps his good mood for the whole day. 😊"  Making rainbow Popsicles  And by night, I got an even happier update. Honestly , I'm so touched I feel like crying.  "Hi Mum and Dad, good news! Cayen has maintained his good behaviour throughout the day. I was with them this afternoon to cover for Zhao Laoshi as she was not around. Cayen participated well in class activitities. He also played nicely with friends. He will do a self reminder like he would say, "play but share". This is the best day so far for all of us...

What's better for building rapport than gift giving ? That's exactly what we did today to celebrate Easter Day .. Thanks to Godma's hard work (20 packs!) , Cayen was able to share his Easter bunnies with his classmates and teachers. Each pack is like a real bunny .. with ears and a bunny tail !   Teacher helped to write all his friends' names on the bag so he could read all his friends' name. He personally gave them out one by one. The children were very happy. It looked like he had fun taking in charge of giving his goodies away too.  😉 He gave the extra goodie bag to his music teacher too. Looks like all went well.  Final verdict from teacher, "He is okay today, no major trouble aside from throwing books and mixing up toys which he does usually. He likes to mix up then will sort and pack after you tell him to do so." Not too bad an ending I think .. 

I was asking teachers about his behaviour last Friday to see how his weekend should pan out .. Ie with some activities or no activities (if he has continued to be naughty).  "Hi Mummy, good pm. Sorry, I haven't gotten back to you last Friday as  I was busy preparing for out of town trip. For the last 2 days, I received positive feedback from the afternoon teachers. They said, he is more behaved and he participated in some activities like joining in singing and dancing and cooperative in some plays among friends. In class, he has shown willingness to do work and crafts. He would still ocassionally misbehave but it is less frequent as before. He has shown a bit of improvement and I think he needs to be patted for that. So he knows we are happy for his behaviour.  😄 I believe he can improve more so we will continue to encourage him."  Actually I did notice that his morning behaviour from Tuesday to Thursday was quite good in terms of routine. He was also bright and chi...

It's so refreshing that a morning can go by without a showdown or delays . This morning, he greeted me , drank his milk , change , and brush his teeth without a glitch.  Though he still greeted our neighbour ,"chocolate" (he started doing that after our adjacent neighbour gives him chocolates every time he sees him) , he at least said "goodbye" to him.  He asked to play the points games when he got into the car. When he arrived in school, he greeted his teachers and principal and did all the routine. Haven't seen him in such a good mood in a while. In fact it started over the weekend when he was generally obedient.  Let's hope it continues.  He's opening his mouth for the check (though this looks like he was roaring). He was all smiles just before this. 

Nowadays, he has been quite good in the morning , just that he still tends to have difficulty waking up some days like today, and he would keep lamenting ”我很累” while struggling to peel his eyes open. Thankfully for Kaya, most days he can be cajoled to complete the routine rather smoothly.  At end of school day, he has now resumed his bad habit at Mindchamps, which is to empty the boxes of toys, when he sees Ah Po arrive to pick him up. I don't know if he finds it funny or something but he would refuse to pick them up, until Ah Po helps him to do so. My solution is simply to leave him there, until he picks up all the toys. But it depends on whether Ah Po can execute.  Anyway, tonight as he was trying to talk to Siri. C: hello Siri, I like my classmates, they are so cute!"  Siri: I didn't quite get you. Do you want me to look it up?" C: Yes!  ( he looked at me and giggled , "Siri don't know what I'm saying)  Well, I think that's a manifestation that he...

Today I dropped him off and asked teachers if he behaved last Friday. Seems like there was no major incident except that teachers have noticed his propensity to lie about some things. For instance, the Chinese teacher saw him flick some vegetables onto the floor but when quizzed , he said he had eaten it all up. I shared with the teacher that recently he's making up song lyrics a lot and he was able to come up with his own stories .. So perhaps the lies came with the whole package Cox to him, it's all make belief. But still we will try to do something about it.  As I was speaking to teacher, I noted that he was playing peek a boo with one of his friends - a lot more like his old self. And apparently he has made one more friend last week.  By end of day, teacher shared that he did a show-and-tell of our family tree (1st homework of the year) though he didn't want to say the actual name, he just referred to us as Ah Pa , Ah Ma etc. and he went to the toilet himse...

Yesterday , Cayen woke up and willingly brushed his teeth. After that, he asked for bread and kaya. Looks like he remembered the screaming spectacle yesterday and how he could only get his way if he brush his teeth first. Thereafter, we went to town to have some breakfast . Once again, he was very cooperative - he played with Lego and ate the eggs and sausages without making any fuss.  Thereafter, I went for yoga and I heard he walked all the way to Orchard Tanglin (from Scotts Square) without a fuss or wanting to be carried. It then struck me that his stamina and willingness to walk has increased a great deal in the last two weeks.  Thereafter, we went over to Praelum for a wine tasting of South African vs Italian wines - a most interesting experience. Serious drinkers try their best to identify which is which, and which they think paired better with the food served.  We headed home thereafter and again, Cayen was very obedient and cooperative so we let ...

Cayen had constipation a few weeks ago. However, as he has developed into a real picky eater, he no longer eats papaya which helps to ease constipation.  Being a non papaya eater myself, I decided to innovate a little and try a new way instead of giving up. I googled papaya ice cream and found some recipes to do that. All involved quite some work like blending etc which I didn't want as I didn't want a lot of hassle. So I simply improvised using the simplest way and minimum ingredients.  So I took a ripe papaya and mashed it with a metal fork. I placed them into a mould used for ice cubes. Then I dropped honey on top. Froze that for an hour or two and it was ready.  When I served it to him, he lapped it all up as it tasted mainly of honey and was cold and nice, just like ice cream.  After a while, his constipation was cured... 

This picture shows a visit to the doctor the day after he's 30 months. At 30 months, he has picked up the habits of creating his own lyrics using regular tunes and likes to sing song his sentences. At 30 months, he also likes the concept of Surprises , all thanks to the very powerful Kinder Surprise videos on YouTube. Conversations this month include : Ah Pa: drink your milk milk so you will grow up , like adults Cayen : like Ah Pa, Ah Ma, Ah Gong, Ah Po, Godma, Uncle G? Ah Pa: yes , grow up like them Cayen : I don't want to grow up , i want to be Ah Pa Ah Ma 's 小  baby .. Ah ... So sweet .. Ah Pa decided to put away the milk. Not sure it's truly from his heart or it's an attempt to escape the milk feed but that was pretty heartwarming. Anyway, this has been a hectic month as we were trying to sign off some critical FRs for a system project and we also have folks from other countries fly in for this.  And as luck would have it, Cayen fell sick...