Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

After the initial brush with some bullying in the initial months, there’s no news in the past few months except exams.  Cayen had his first exams and results were quite low even for his usual best subjects like Maths. I think it ranges from 50+ (English) to 80+ (Chinese ironically).  Hence, since I don’t really know how to system works , I asked the teachers if there’s some median or average class grade. And I tried to explain that I’m not kiasu parent but I just want to know how these marks stack up, because whilst it’s a bit low on the absolute front, I think it’s pretty ok if it’s average or median since the exams are different from the usual cirriculum and there’s no need for concern.  Teachers say that as long the kids meet the threshold of 70 marks, it’s considered passing. And anything less than that will mean that teachers will reach out to us more.  In class, he’s apparently a good learner who’s not afraid to ask questions though he can get distracted and fi...

After 2 years of hiatus, we had our first in person PTM for Cayson last Sat. And perhaps it might be the second last or last PTM before he graduates into Primary school next year., As Cayson always speaks fondly of this one friend Im , and on occasion Ca and Cl, I was a bit worried if he has other friends too so I asked the teachers if there’s any concern about mixing and socialising in general. But thankfully both English and Chinese teachers confirmed that he’s a very amicable child who will get along well with friends and won’t fight or insist on his ways - he’s like a model student so there’s no concern.  However, because these few boys like similar toys and also are a bit more worldly in their conversation topics (I think they even talk a lil about Russia and Ukraine when I tried to probe) so they get along relatively well as they end up chatting non stop to the extent that sometimes teacher gotta separate Cayson and Im.  Cayson also continues to adopt a positive mindset ...

It’s slightly over two weeks. Seems like he still hasn’t made friends in class yet (except for one girl who’s in the school bus) though he seemed to like his school bus friends as they are always joking around, with his first friend leading the pack sometimes. They even played games on the bus something similar to Cluedo / Amongst Us concept. However, sad news is that he  also learnt that his first friend is leaving the school bus by February and rejoining only next year as she’s taking public transport.  His lunch reportoire is still chicken rice with different sides every day though he managed to try croissants on Fridays after I told him about the cafe. His review of the new school overall is that the food is cheaper but smaller in serving. Guess this really speaks to his priorities.  He also learnt how to make a lantern using Ang Pow this week and he was quite pleased about it . He came home to make one more on his own.   He has just started his computer lessons ...

After his Covid vaccination on Saturday, I was concerned about him forgetting and inadvertently running or participating in strenuous activities in school. So I reminded Ah Pa to remind teacher as he has PE lessons soon.  However, we understand from Chinese teacher that Cayen was very on the ball and had promptly informed the teacher of his condition and that he cannot exercise in the next two weeks. Teacher however told him to tell the PE teacher instead. I cannot tell if he’s responsible or trying to just skive and relax as a result of that.  Anyway, his canteen food today was chicken rice, egg and egg sandwich today. Again it’s because the queue was the shortest. I asked if he could walk faster so he could try other food but he said it was not possible as one teacher would lead them to their designated seat and another would release them into the queues. At the rate he’s going, I reckon he might be eating chicken rice forever.  Today his only friend was playing with an...

Before he got get home, we had some insights of his behaviour in school. Through the online chat with Chinese teacher, these were the comments: “ Cayen’s behaviour is good, attitude is good, he even help to remind teacher of things. And he loves drawing it seems, but we need to remind him on the appropriate time to draw”  Oops, I think reading between the lines, it could potentially mean that he’s “kaypoh” (busybody) and that he’s not paying attention in class.  Hence, once he got home, our first question was what exactly he reminded the teacher of. He said that he reminded them that it was end of class. We were horrified. That sounded like he couldn’t wait to end lessons and exit the class. We asked why he would say that. He said that teacher asked him to remind them of this as there’s people taking the school bus. Ok, then it doesn’t sound that bad.  On why he was drawing , he said he’s drawing dinosaurs as it was very boring and the teachers were repeating things that ...

He donned the PE shirt today and I saw the motto on the back of the shirt …   “ 勤 慎 端 朴 - Diligence, Prudence, Respectability, Simplicity”  which I’ve not seen in a while. That’s my secondary school motto too so it felt quite nostalgic.  The day whizzed past and here’s the highlights of his day.  - He found the shortest way to ascend to his classroom on 6th floor. I think he described something about starting from the field, crossing to second floor, crossing the rainbow part of the building, taking of the two paths etc. It sounded real complicated like squid game but he’s quite pleased he found a “shortcut” though I don’t quite see how so .  - He still didn’t speak to anyone in the class except to tell the guy behind to stop tapping his fingers or kicking his chair. And it so turns out he’s from SJI too. He spoke a little to his only friend on school bus today. Friends count to date : 1 .  - He ate chicken rice with egg and corn soup. He was quite pleased ...

He’s started new school today. Given his usual personality, I was worried about him being able to make friends today . So I tried to ready him ahead of time using my tips of making friends. 1. Smile  2. Introduce yourself  3. Try to find common interests - minecraft , demon slayer , anything  4. See if anything else is shy like you, go make friends.  He said it’s “embarrassing” , it doesn’t work that way. It’s  not so easy. I asked why. He said he read from “Diary of a wimpy kid”. Erm, how is that a good reference ? Well, parents, be careful of what they read. It drives irrational fear.  In the end , we even gave him an “Among Us” mask to promote conversations (but sadly it didn’t work). Will try Demon Slayer tomorrow I guess.  Anyway, guess it’s really up to him at the end of the day. I eventually became more concerned about his ability to scale six floors in his school, especially with that huge bag that looked so heavy. That day, we did a trial run ...

2020 started with a Big Bang (on the floor) for Cayen where he fractured his arm during basketball training. That meant 2 months plus of cast and repeated trip to the hospital for replacement of the bandage / cast. This also meant that he further ballooned from the 18kg in Jan 19 to the current 29kg given the lack of activity and continued appetite from his double plates of chicken rice/pasta and chicken patty during recess.  Albeit being restrained in his cast, he took part in the Maths Kangeroo competition which was held online this year where he scored a Gold and qualified for the Singapore International Maths Olympiad Challenge where he scored 1 individual bronze and 2 team bronze. Unfortunately, the lockdown meant that he has too much dosage of Youtube particularly minecraft / preston and he also learnt how to manuvoer the laptop (as a result of all those home based learning) to download more free games to play.  Thankfully he re-ignited his interest in internatioanl and ...

In a year of Covid19, time flies faster than ever. We had our second parent meet teacher Teams session recently. As usual, Cayson received glowing compliments for being a good boy in school and above average mandarin skills (amongst mostly expatriate friends haha). And I also learned that he has planning and patience as well. Here’s why.  Usually to start the day, he would have milk at home. Then on some days when he requests (since his school provides breakfast and we don’t want to waste), we would pack some small “fish” snacks or small piece of bread to bring to school. What we learned is that other kids may sometimes pack their own afternoon snack to school (though school provides). As Cayson also wants his own snacks during tea, he would ration what he brought for breakfast , and leave a tiny morsel behind for tea. Teacher observed it, was rather amused and asked him to finish the morsel during breakfast as it’s a real small piece to start with but he mustered all his willpower...

Me: How’s the Lion King performance today? C: Good, I like Xavier?  Me: Who? Xavier Tan ? Xavier Huang?  C: No, Xavier the bunny? Me: Why you like Xavier the bunny?  C: He brought many dinosaurs. Oh and we eat food on the bus. Sandwiches.  Me: So where did you watch it? C: Sentosa. Me: Oh, Resorts World  C: No. Me: MBS ? C: No. (I give up. Don’t know where’s the venue and the teacher letter never say) Me: So what else do you like? C: I like the hyenas . Me: Why? Why you like hyenas ? They are evil. C: I like evil.  Me: No, evil is bad.  C: laughs .. I like hyenas.  Me: By the way, tell Cayen who’s Xavier?  C: Xavier’s the hyenas .. I’m so confused. So who’s the real Xavier in the Lion Kong show?  —— Cayson got punished today for the first time ever in pre school. During nap time, he didn’t sleep and jumped on his bed despite teacher telling him to stop. So he was sent to naughty corner.  So I minus his Dojo points later too.  N...

As part of the regular meet the parent session, I joined Cayson to make ice cream. Think I must be the only one who managed to tear two plastics bags in a row due to vigorous shaking. It’s good fun as Cayson tried his hand at making ice cream from Meiji strawberry milk.  Teacher’s feedback on him is still good as usual as he’s still quite an obedient and easy going kid though she did remark that he’s picky with some food like vegetables now. And whilst he’s 99% agreeable in the past, he’s been more prone to his own opinion (I read it as trying to get his way). And sometimes he followed his classmates’ action of scribbling away randomly during colouring when he used to colour carefully within the lines. Observations were quite in line with what we see at home. Recently he would cry when he doesn’t get his way. For instance, we were playing snakes and ladders and he started crying when I made him slide down when he hit a snake. He kept screaming “I want to win”. Later on, he proceede...

We had Cayson Parents Meet Teacher session last Saturday. As usual, it was a breeze as teachers were full of compliments as he was very easy to handle.  Here’s some highlights : He’s very observant. If they play any games where they hide stickers or objects, he usually will find 7-8 out of 10 items in the whole class.  He’s able to empathise. One time when a friend was unhappy, he went over to try to play with her. But she was still angry as another girl friend didn’t want to play with her, so Cayson asked her “why?” He knows how to share very well. When he overheard his friend telling the teacher that he want to play with a toy (that Cayson is holding on to), he went to pass it to his friend automatically without anyone asking.   He’s able to speak in full Chinese sentences, and tell a short story.  He’s able to 举一反三..so he learns very fast and will ask related question. If he learns something today, tomorrow he will be able to relate if a similar thing ...

Cayen got into trouble in school twice last week . Last week I tried to talk him out of it by telling him about going to boys’ home or jail if he were to keep on doing that.  Yesterday, I returned to find that he has committed another mischief again. Apparently Cayson then asked him why he’s doing it again. Does he want to go to boys’ school or jail ? If he goes there,  Ah Pa and Ah Ma will be very sad. Cayson will be very sad too as there will be no one to protect him in Pats schoolhouse. He will be happy to share all his toys but there will not be anyone to share with.  With this, Cayen burst into tears. Let’s just hope that this heart to heart prep talk by his younger brother beats the usual punishment and naughty corner. Let’s see.

Last night Ah Po cooked a fish for dinner. One of the cats was fast as lightning - it jumped onto the table and grabbed the fish with its teeth. It quickly went under the table to enjoy his steal.  Little Cayson kneeled now and asked the cat, “ Ah neow (Cat), can you give me back my fish?” ——— Ah Po was cooking so gave Cayson the iPad to watch. After she’s done, she asked Cayson, “ Cayson, stop watching already. Have you fed your dinosaurs already? They are hungry”  Without hesitation, he put down the iPad , and proceeded to feed his dinosaurs. First, he lay all of them down on the floor and got a box of “food” and started feeding them in a very structured manner.  ———- Cayson met a neighbour in the lift.  Neighbour : where are you going? Cayson: go buy ba hu (pork floss in hokkien) bun for Ah Yen . Neighbour: how old are you? Cayson: coming 3  ———— Last night, I was still working late at work. Got a message from Da to ask if I’m home yet. Reason is because Cay...

It’s nearly been one month since he started Primary one. He’s still eating chicken rice as of now. Or rather, he has not tried anything else. Also, he now has enough time to eat chicken rice, and then go to the pond later to play with his friends.  To date, he’s had two brushes as well, literally. First, it was for a misunderstanding where two boys thought they were supposed to be first in line and the other boy bit him when they were heading down the stairs. Apparently it all started when the boy “cut his queue” , and when he would not listen and go back to his original position,  Cayen stepped right back in front of him but not before kicking him.   Second incident, he was playing with his friend when someone ran fast from behind and pushed him down. He fell flat and cut his nose, elbows and knees.  Looks like Primary One is not going to be a bed of roses when it comes to scratches and wounds, particularly in a boy’s school.  As of now, he’s had his first chin...

Cayen ate  chicken rice again but the only difference was that he only had $2 today. So when asked what he drank, he said he had no money to buy drink, he then hugged his water bottle and said he had only this. (No money for mogu mogu.. haha). (Recap: he had asked for $2 for Mon, Wed and Fri and for $2.50 on 2 treat days on Tue and Thu.) Hence, he renegotiated. How about $2.50 for Mon, Wed and Fri?  I was half expecting that he would say $2 for Tue and Thu but he had proposed $3 for these two days instead.  —  I asked him if he had anything he didn’t know in class. He said he didn’t know how to walk to the canteen from his classroom. So I told him to follow the group. But wait, he’s standing at the front of the line, so I think the P4s are leading the pack. I asked him if he had tried PE since he wore the PE shirt the previous day. But he said they didn’t go eventually as the computer was spoilt and they were delayed by 15min.  Then I asked what he did whilst wa...

First time waking up at 6am today. Didn’t dilly dally at all for once hence, was ready by 6.30am, way ahead of time, he had some time to appreciate dawn to sunrise since he’s so early.  He managed to spend $2.40 out of $3 today , on chicken rice and a bottle of mogu mogu (whatever that is). He said he will buy ice cream tomorrow , so Ah Pa told him that his floating rate pocket money will get cut tomorrow. Cayen negotiated and got Mon, Wed and Fri to be $2.00 whilst Tues and Thu to be $2.50, so he has a bit of a treat for two days. Cayen 1. Ah Pa 0. 

The two brothers set off for school , new in a different way. For Cayen, it’s a whole new experience in a new setting whilst for Cayson, he’s returning to the old school compound after two weeks at a temp campus to a new classroom and new chinese teacher.  On the way to school, Cayen suddenly asked me about this cloud in the sky, looking long and curvy (like a rainbow). I tried to explain that an airplane has flown past. He wouldn’t take it for an answer. “How could a plane go up and come down so quickly? It’s a curve, not a straight line.” That seemed valid so I started googling for some answers but to no avail. I suspect it’s really from a plane , and that’s a word for it .. “Contrail” or Condensation trail. Anyway, this conversation lasted all the way whilst we were in the car. First time he’s so awake in the morning after all these years. I take the questioning as a good sign of things to come in Primary school.  For Cayen, we didn’t know much about what he went through as...