Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

Just before our trip, I heard loud banging noises coming from the washing machine. My mum said it has been like that for a while. But since we were travelling last week, we didn't get a chance to get someone to take a look.  After we returned from our trip with a big load of clothes, Mum wanted to try the washing machine again, with a small load just to test.  In the meanwhile, I just went to call up the official service hotline to enquire on the potential reasons for the noise. The diagnosis didn't sound fatal and probably require a change of part , so I made another call to another service company to compare prices. Before the service person could arrive, I realised that my laptop was not charging. In fact,  the electricity had short circuited and tripped. Not a good sign.  When the service man came , he took a quick look and gave his judgment. No point repairing , would cost too much relatively. Why?  He replied that because the constant pressure had caused s...

On Saturday , we went to the funfair at the Bishan Community Centre. It was a fun experience as they have worked with many volunteers and also some external vendors to set up many games stations where kids can try their hand at different occupations. They pretty much filled out every level of the community centre with stations and it's quite fun as kids can go already earning stamps for trying or each occupation and they get to redeem the stamps for some presents at the end of the day.  I felt quite impressed by the scale of the events as the stations were very fun (from sports on inflatables to robotics and balloon sculpturing) and many of which I have not encountered before at other events. Furthermore, I was a student councillor before and I know that organising such events with limited budget and manpower is no mean feat. Best of all, entrance ticket was merely $5. As such, we had a whale of fun there the entire afternoon. You can check out my Instagram for videos and pictures....

I'm a hassle free mum. I need to get things done , fast. Here's my list of essentials when expecting a newborn.  For baby   1. A safe toy / bolster (with holes) that he can hold on to for comfort (sometimes people call it safety blanket but ironically blankets are not very safe at this stage due to suffocation risk)  2. A pacifier (yes, you may not want to use but this is for standby in case you really need a break)  3. Changing mat and also some waterproof cloth to line your bed or the cot  (if you don't intend to keep changing bedsheets everytime mishaps happen) 4. Yu Yee Oil  When colicky (i.e. still crying despite having drank enough, slept enough , changed diaper, ideal room temperature), put some oil on the tummy. If it's due to wind, baby will fart and all will be good again. You can also try to massage a bit to get rid of wind. 5. Diapers Depending on your baby's birth weight and size, he might outgrow the newborn ones really fast. So don't buy too ...

Scenario 1: It's been a long day and one of the last tasks of the day is to put the baby to bed. After trying for 30 minutes, Baby finally blinks and closes his eyes. Then without warning , he opens his eyes wide open despite being very tired and cannot go to sleep. Then you try to repeat the routine again. After 45 minutes, you are tired and want this to end. So you pick the baby up, rock him in your arms  / carry him around the house / put him in a pram and push him around / take him out for a drive. Then finally he goes to sleep. You conclude that this is a quick fix and is so much more effective. You should have done it upfront.  Scenario 2: After 45 minutes of trying to get the baby to sleep, he still is awake. In fact, he's crying loudly as he's tired and wants to sleep. You pick him up , stop the crying and put him right back into bed. He cries again, and you pick him up, stop the crying and put him back into bed again. This goes on for 30-40 times before he finally ...

Having kids mean having to cope with a lot of surprises along the way. In the last 4.5 years, I have seen my share of various ailments (myself or friends') & want to share some of the experiences. In general, I suggest to bring kids to see doctors whenever they are not well as doctors know best. Nonetheless, during sudden situations, I think it's also important to know what we are dealing with so I am sharing what I have googled along the way to educate myself (my first way out is always to see PD or GP by the way). Do note that I am not a doctor and the following is for reference only. 1.Spitting up / vomiting milk When a baby who is feeding suddenly vomits milk, quick hold the baby vertically up. Don't let the baby continue to lie flat in case he/she chokes. Spitting small amount of milk  is common in young babies but if vomit is projectile and happens once a day or more, please go see doctor. See article for more details on spitting up and reflux 2. Nosebleed...

After the previous article, one of my friends pointed us some of her perspectives on the topic as well. And I'm glad she did because those are very valid points too and in doing so, she's an activist too , but for a different cause - the toilet cleaning aunties. Her sharing (I summarised in bullet points) - Toilet cleaners are often old people... they work long hours with tired body and aching feet and I have seen supervisor scolding them. - No one likes to do such a job but they are trying to make ends meet. - While she may nicely talk to the auntie on wastage, she will not write a complaint as it may cause them their job. Perhaps they are not so educated or just want to get their job done by hook or by crook and bring the bread home. And the next day, they have to start their dreaded chores again. - Yes, the environment matters but human matters more. That auntie may lose her rice bowl and have no means to bring money home. She knew of cases where these people work as clea...

Last week, when I was in the toilet, I saw the cleaning auntie use the toilet napkins to wipe the wet sink.  I asked her why she did it (I know it's laziness) and she muttered some excuses. Then I told her that it's not environmentally friendly, and asked her if she had a cloth. She said she did. And then she tried to explain that she had to pull out some pieces of napkins from the dispenser so it's not so full and be jammed.  Yesterday, I went to the toilet again. And saw her using the napkins to wipe the area around the sink again. I immediately asked her why she was doing it again, why don't use a cloth? I reiterated to her that it's not environmentally friendly. She then promptly tried to wipe the floor and said it's dirty.  Why I feel so strongly about this is because these are not the only times I have seen it. When I was at Fullterton Bay hotel last month, the toilet cleaning auntie did exactly the same thing, only worse. She unrolled about a quarter of a...

It's my first business trip overseas in a long while. So, I have lots of insights on various matters.  Movies  Rewarded myself with the famous La La Land after doing all my required pre-reading. This movie is  highly recommended if you are into dreams and all that jazz. Watching it reminds me that actually I like watching movies , just that I haven't watched such interesting, stirring ones in a while. Also, when I am watching on a plane, I don't have that nagging feeling that I'm prioritising the two-hour movie over my kids, so that felt good too.  On my return flight, I squeezed in the classic Wall Street, Mr Church (incidentally with some jazz element too), and one episode of Sex & the City. All very nice too. Recommended too if you are into  good plots , without all the special effects and lousy humour.  Facetime Tried to callback every night and every morning to FaceTime the boys.. Interestingly Cayson doesn't seem to recognise me, or perhaps the ju...

Being a typical kiasu mum, I am very careful with the food I eat and what I use for both my pregnancies. My mantra is "rather safe than sorry". Also, some of these things below are not that intuitive at all hence, I am writing down to share with all of you as you may not google as much as I do over everything.  Please note that I am not a doctor, so when in doubt, ask your doctor.  I am ordering this in order of common knowledge to the uncommon ones. Starting with the common knowledge ...  1. Don't eat raw foods   This means no salads, sashimi , half cooked beef steaks (sobs!) and runny eggs. Also, I am also careful of fresh juices and certain types of cheese if they are unpasteurised.  This is to avoid  risk of contamination with coliform bacteria, toxoplasmosis, and salmonella. Sources:  http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/foods-to-avoid-during-pregnancy/ http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-drink-unp...

Since birth of Cayson, I've been falling sick almost every month. I even got a serious eye infection. It could be due to lack of sleep or a weakened body post the c-section. The ultimatum came in the form of a week long flu that started on first day of Chinese New Year, simply due to exposure to cold winds in my house on the eve. In that long dreary week, I basked in self pity - I could not carry baby due to fear of passing the virus.  I did not even have energy to break baby for a walk after dinner. I was so sick of being sick.  Then, I decided that something has to change. I got to take charge of my health because bad health means that one cannot enjoy anything in life, not even the company of your loved ones. And viruses can also spread to your family and kids too.  As such, I started reading extensively about what I can do to reinvent my diet and lifestyle, and also what I can do to improve the family's immunity using TCM principles overlay with western n...

Due to the cold weather, Cayson has started to have runny nose. As he's too young for medicine, I wanted to try this natural remedy I saw online - Wrapping feet with onions.  http://www.enlightenplanet.com/2017/02/attaching-sliced-onion-to-your-foot.html?m=1 As I was discussing this with Da, my helper told me that they also do that in Philippines , and that can also help to relieve leg pain. In fact , one can put garlic near the head too. Anyway, I decided to try the onion first. So here's what we did.  After 3 days of occasional runny nose ..  Night 4 : no aircon and stuff half an onion into the socks he's wearing Day 5: no runny nose or sniffles  Night 5: no aircon and stuff half an onion into the socks he's wearing  Day 6: no runny nose or sniffles  Ok, two nights are not quite statistically significant evidence that onions work but at least I have one more trick up my sleeves when confronted with flus. Apparently this works for adults too. Try it and le...

Cayen and Cayson gets along fabulously well. Cayson will laugh adoringly when Cayen tries to entertain him, and stop crying when Cayen sings for him.  Even if Cayson pulls his hair, Cayen will let him do so without flinching and even laugh about it. Cayen also takes care of baby by rushing in to help sing songs if he hears baby crying.  To achieve this, I think that these 6 steps have helped.  1. Manage expectations When Cayson was still in tummy, we tried to inform Cayen on the upcoming arrival. To initiate him, we bought some storybooks about being a big brother and babies to start the brainwashing.  2. Welcome gift  Before Cayson is borned, I bought some Paw Patrol figures (Cayen's favourite then), and gifted to him on day 1 of Cayson's arrival. It was baby's gift to him! Brownie point scored again!  3. Daily brainwashing   Tell Cayen that Cayson loves him a lot and vice versa. Exaggerate all the small things . "Look! Cayson loves you so much! He al...

I've been getting queries on how I lost my weight so fast , and look even slimmer than before Cayson. Well , here's the not-so-secret secret.  1. Don't put on so much weight in the pregnancy to start with  1) For someone who's average weight before pregnancy, average weight gain is about 12-14kg. (Don't take number for what it is because you can afford more if you are underweight to start with). For my first baby Cayen, I put on 20+ kg, about 50% of my original weight. For the next four years, there was this remnant 5kg that I cannot shed so weight stayed at 58kg.   2) For Cayson, I watched my diet and put on only 14kg or so. Now after 7 months, I'm at 52kg. So actually I also lost 20kg after childbirth, same as first time. But as I didn't put on so many kgs, the nett weight is a lot lower.  Note that you should eat sufficiently and healthily during pregnancy , but case in point is that I overate in my first, thinking that I should be able to shed the weight...

Since the advent of Grab and Uber, i didn't have to complain anymore about the appalling services of taxis where they will pick and choose passengers during peak hours. In fact, apart from having a good supply of cars and convenience of booking from an app, cost has been lowered since Grabcars costs about 10-30% less than taxis, depending on distance, since they don't have all kinds of surcharges (peak hour, CBD etc). Furthermore, fare is predefined and fixed upfront so you need not fear cost escalations due to traffic jams. Lastly, all these fares you charge to credit card means no more digging for change and accumulating a lot more card reward points or rebates. Yesterday, I tried my first ever Grabshare, which I highly recommend as fare has gone down further! A ride that would have cost $15 is now $10.50 during peak hours if I'm prepared to share with another passenger. And good thing is that if there's no one going my way, the driver who accepted the job will j...

Ok, I'm a hoarder. I don't like to throw away things in good condition no matter how infrequently I use them. This is because I truly believe they will come in handy one day. So I keep primary school and secondary school essays, clothes from 20 years ago (Cox I believe one day I will fit into them again) ,  ribbons, empty gift boxes & used wrapping paper (Cox I want to recycle them) and of course generally any gifts from anyone. Today, I had a breakthrough - I decided to sell a few of my bags as they were in very bad condition and I actually did. This is particularly tough as all these have sentimental value i.e. birthday gifts from Da or was bought during our honeymoon. However, given that the bags were very worn or in bad shape, I decided to sell them on Carousell , just in case someone else can find a better use for them.  I was surprised that within hours, all three bags were snapped up. Perhaps it was the nominal price that I quoted or perhaps they really...

Last Saturday night at around 11.52pm, I was awakened by a loud chopping sound from something that sounds like a low flying helicopter or perhaps some other plane. I drew the curtains and saw a flying object with a bright light flying towards our direction from Ang mo kio area and after a while, it flew from our side to Ang mo kio area again. I was quite concerned given that it was flying so low and it was hovering or seemed to be searching for something.i tried to take a video but it was a little too dark so it didn't come out clear.  I wandered if I should call the police or something but somehow decided against it.  The next morning, I woke up and the whole family heard it . In fact every one had awakened to investigate the source. Apparently the air con in the other room was actually shaking from the noise and proximity. My mum also saw the plane from her side of the window, flying very low.  Upon this , I decided to call the police and described what I s...

Cayen cannot sit still during mealtimes. So earlier on, I have posted some tips on using busy bags with lego & colouring books etc. However, there will be some days where we forgot about it or didn't want to bring so many things out. Hence, here are some other tips to keep them entertained for up to 1 hour at the table without iPhones. 1. At Jap restaurants, teach them how to "pop" the Edamame   When he accidentally dropped it, he "blew" it clean .. 2. If going to coffeeshops, bring a bag of their favourite fruits that requires peeling. In this case, we brought Buah Duku (locally pronounced as Baluku). Be prepared a little bit of mess if fruit is very juicy. 3. Playing a counting game For instance, count the number of fans, lanterns, fishes, No Smoking signs, Exit signs, bowls, tables etc. Just keep counting until some food comes. 4. Eating the peanuts In Chinese restaurants, there's usually a plate of peanuts , braised or the usua...