Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

Today, he told me he wanted to marry his special friend again. So I asked him what is the meaning of marry ? And here's the whole exchange:  C: after you marry, you have a baby.  Me: so give me an example of who's married ? C: you and ah pa!  Me: ok .. then tell me who's my baby? C: Cayson . You pop Cayson,  Me: that's right. Then who pop you?  C: Ah Po  Me: huh??? You are not Ah Po's baby. What gave you that idea? C: I thought one mummy can only have one baby.  Me: No, both of you are my babies. You are big baby and Cayson is small baby.  C: no, I am not a baby anymore.  Me: ok, let's try this. So who's Ah Po's babies?  C: hmm .. Me: who calls her mama? C: you! Me: correct. Who else? C: erm ... don't know Me: let me give you a clue .. who comes every week?  C: cleaning auntie !!  Me: no !! Guess again. Who looks like me? Who calls Ah Po mama ? And then he went on to guess 5-7 things including Ah Pa,  Ah Gong, Nai Nai (奶奶）...

I don't remember how it started but we mention God in a sentence. Cayen asked , "what is God?" I think we stuttered a bit - we are not exactly religious people. Then I tried very hard to think and explain in terms that he may understand.  Well, long time ago, there was no humans, only God. Then he decided to make a man and woman, who got married and made children. If people behave well, then next time they join God in Heaven. If they do bad things, then they will go to Hell.  Some people call their God Jesus , some call it Allah, some have many gods like elephant etc,  some believe in Buddha. Some  do not believe in a God. Some believe in a God but are just not sure which version is it.  Well, I think there's just one God, but it just looks and sounds different to different people in different parts of the world.  Next time when you grow up, you get to choose which God you believe in. 

I read some articles before on how we should be careful about how we praise a kid. Later on, I was also introduced to the concept of a Growth Mindset at Little Executive that also covers it. "Growth mindset is about having a mindset that allows insight to emerge from failures, resilience to be built from mistake and every misstep an opportunity to be better." - little executive's website  Hence, since then , I'm very careful with my choice of words with Cayen . I do not praise outcomes or how smart he is , but will always praise his efforts instead. And with every teaching moments that arise, I will emphasize that we do something well because we have practised very hard and we never give up.  For instance, I told him about how I tried the Yin and Yang yoga today and it's really tough for me since it's my first lesson. And he asked me if the others felt the same. I said no, they were much stronger than me. However, even though if I was not good today, I will no...

As his classmates speak mainly English and we have somehow read more English books during bedtime reading , Cayen's Chinese has deteriorated a lot. Hence, to rejuvenate his interest, we started to read a lot more Chinese books at night. 80% Chinese and 20% English.  Also, Ah Pa started to teach him how to play Chinese chess so now he needs to learn how to read the characters in order to play.  This is also a good game as it requires him to stop and think - very good to practise impulse control and strategic thinking. I think he really likes the game as he would initiate it as one of the games we can play after dinner and we have been playing a lot last week as I was not feeling well and it's a good quiet game to play.  Lastly, to encourage reading, I told him that Chinese also has sight words (actually I don't know for sure). So as I read Chinese books, I pause to let him identify the few commonly recurring words. I started with 了 ，as he's quite tickled that every page ...

As you know, I like to spin stories during bedtime reading in request to his request for more stories even after I off the lights. Today was no exception. Given the cold weather after the rains, I decided that the theme would be seasons. And so my story goes: Once upon a time, there's an Ant and Grasshopper who like four seasons. This is because they like to see the leaves change colour and the temperature change. For instance, in Summer, the leaves will be green and in Autumn they will turn yellow or orange. In winter, they will all drop off..  "Yes, these are deciduous trees, not evergreen trees , " he interrupted .  I was surprised. Deciduous ? Haven't heard this word since Geography class in secondary school, "where did you learn it from?" "FasTrack.. (This is one of his classes)," he replied, sounding very bored as if I should know.  This is really very fast track I think. Looks like my fictional stories better be as fact ...

Recent reading incidents that surprised us in Dec 16 :  1. He read out the options on the menu:  Soup, spicy, dry  Fish soup  Water  2. In the cab: Don't leave your iPhone and wallet behind (I suspect he memorised it Cox it's Handphone, not iPhone)  Ride - Tap - Earn (after I told him months back)  3. Along the highway on CTE  C: are we going to Changi Airport ? Me: how do you know? C: it's there (points to the signboard)  4. Me: It's around 500+ C: oh, that's near 600.  (Didn't see that coming) Anyway, tips to encourage kids to read without flash cards.  - teach them signs and decals you can find in the taxi / car or road signs (you can keep them still too) - when waiting for meals, read menus. Find games to play like counting the number of symbols etc ("not available", chicken, vegetables, etc) - when doing night time reading, point to the words as you read , and invite them to join in the reading (I.e. read the bigger words or wo...

Since young, we have not really signed him up for much classes save for two terms of music lessons. We usually spend weekends just exploring new places, playgrounds, museums etc. However, since he just turned 4, we figure it's time to expose him to more structured learning to hone his skills and more importantly character.  Earlier, I spoke on enrolling for Little Executive lessons. For November, we enrolled him in the Little Shaws holiday camp to let him do a bit of sports and taking a trial class at Yamaha. For the Shaws camp, it was interesting that kids got to not just try new sports, but also do a bit of painting and baking.  As he arrived earlier, after kicking and running for 5-10minutes non stop, he was already tired and wanted to go home, but eventually he was coaxed to continue and they did have breaks with non sports activities in between the 3 hour program.  While he couldn't quite blend in the first day because the other kids all seemed to alread...

Godma Shu Hsien brought Cayen out for an outing a few weeks back. This is a place where he can learn about insects and explore freely in a safe environment without adults screaming "no" at every corner . Best of all, everything is indoors and air conditioned - great perk for heat fearing adult companions.  A little bit of a hidden paradise. Will go again for sure. Recommended ! http://www.playeum.com

After I came home, I did a role play with him again ... So I asked him to act out all the scenarios that I would narrate.  Me: You were trying to cross but three boys are blocking you. What do you do? C: find another way ? Me: that's correct but is there some other way ? C: say "excuse me?" Me: what if they never hear you ? C: "excuse me!"(he said louder)  Me: what if they still don't let you cross ?  C: then I crawl over ?? (Then he tried to crawl between my legs!)  Me: ok, let's try again. What must you say ? C: excuse me.  Me: What do you want?  C: Can you give me some space? Me: why do you want some space? C: I want to cross.  Me: ok, let me make some space for you ...... Me: today you are looking at your friend's painting on the wall. Why did you tear it down? C: because it's not nice. Me: (I pointed to the magnet toy he just built) I don't like it , it's not nice. Can I tear it down? ...

After watching Paw Patrol and Blaze and the monster machines, he's very into volcanos and machinery. So he was all ears when I went through those pages in the picture dictionary and that was a good start. Today , I tried to educate him about the gemstones. But this was not easy as he kept calling them rocks and how he's going to crush them using jack hammer and drill. Focus was not on the colours but all about the crushing. So I kept repeating "gemstones or crystals" Then he suddenly asked ," gem as in Kaya and Jam?? " We said , "no, gem as in gem. Not Jam." Then I tried to educate him , "diamond is the hardest material on earth . It takes a diamond to cut a diamond" Cayen asked, " a diamond to cut a diamond? Why? Can't I use a jack hammer and a drill?"  I told him that a diamond is the hardest and you can't cut a  hard object with something softer. Da quipped on the side, " I think can crus...

I have very fond memories of Pulau Ubin. It's the site of 2 OBS , once in Secondary where I first met Da, and another during JC. In uni, I went there quite a few times as I was training to be a nature guide there (though I didn't quite make it as I realised I really couldn't tell the different plants apart). That's also when Da and me officially started dating again. Then, we stopped going there. And it's been so many years since we last stepped on the island. I had wanted to go so many times but request was turned down due to heat and inconvenience etc. Finally , one day before Mother's Day, my mum said she wanted to go to Pulau Ubin, Cayen should like the boat trip there. As it was her wish , that became the command for all to prepare for a Ubin trip the next morning . My bro in law had agreed readily initially , thinking we are going to eat Ubin seafood . Ha !  We took a boat ride there from Changi ferry terminal and reached there in around ten minut...