Multiparenting Cayen & Cayson

I seldom watch dramas , but the advert on instagram for this show led me to watch it as I had thought it was some kind of horror show.  Soon it became clear that it's not the ghost type of horror show. However, due to the rather graphic contents of certain scenes and how the storyline evolved, it was quite horrifying or disturbing somehow, especially to me as a parent.  I am particularly disturbed by how the parents didn't and couldn't have known how disturbed she was and they only knew way too late. And how bullying could be so serious in schools - hope it's a US thing only.  Despite the bad press the show may have gotten thus far, I actually encourage parents with teenager kids to watch it because I think it's quite insightful to us as parents to try to see what are the warning signs that a kid may need help and what's bothering them. After all, suicide is not really discussed in the open and the show does provide some perspectives.  Actually, I think it's...

I don't remember how it started but we mention God in a sentence. Cayen asked , "what is God?" I think we stuttered a bit - we are not exactly religious people. Then I tried very hard to think and explain in terms that he may understand.  Well, long time ago, there was no humans, only God. Then he decided to make a man and woman, who got married and made children. If people behave well, then next time they join God in Heaven. If they do bad things, then they will go to Hell.  Some people call their God Jesus , some call it Allah, some have many gods like elephant etc,  some believe in Buddha. Some  do not believe in a God. Some believe in a God but are just not sure which version is it.  Well, I think there's just one God, but it just looks and sounds different to different people in different parts of the world.  Next time when you grow up, you get to choose which God you believe in. 

After the previous article, one of my friends pointed us some of her perspectives on the topic as well. And I'm glad she did because those are very valid points too and in doing so, she's an activist too , but for a different cause - the toilet cleaning aunties. Her sharing (I summarised in bullet points) - Toilet cleaners are often old people... they work long hours with tired body and aching feet and I have seen supervisor scolding them. - No one likes to do such a job but they are trying to make ends meet. - While she may nicely talk to the auntie on wastage, she will not write a complaint as it may cause them their job. Perhaps they are not so educated or just want to get their job done by hook or by crook and bring the bread home. And the next day, they have to start their dreaded chores again. - Yes, the environment matters but human matters more. That auntie may lose her rice bowl and have no means to bring money home. She knew of cases where these people work as clea...

Last week, when I was in the toilet, I saw the cleaning auntie use the toilet napkins to wipe the wet sink.  I asked her why she did it (I know it's laziness) and she muttered some excuses. Then I told her that it's not environmentally friendly, and asked her if she had a cloth. She said she did. And then she tried to explain that she had to pull out some pieces of napkins from the dispenser so it's not so full and be jammed.  Yesterday, I went to the toilet again. And saw her using the napkins to wipe the area around the sink again. I immediately asked her why she was doing it again, why don't use a cloth? I reiterated to her that it's not environmentally friendly. She then promptly tried to wipe the floor and said it's dirty.  Why I feel so strongly about this is because these are not the only times I have seen it. When I was at Fullterton Bay hotel last month, the toilet cleaning auntie did exactly the same thing, only worse. She unrolled about a quarter of a...

Today's a special day as it was Baby Owen and Baby Kyra's full moon party. We headed out for both parties to send our warmest wishes. As usual, once Cayson sat in my baby carrier and we stepped out of the house, he actually shrieked and waved his arms excitedly ! This little guy loves to go out and play.  At Owen's party, Cayen, Don and Caleb ran around the room , and played with balloons and catching. Was happy to see the kids having fun.  At Kyra's party, Cayen was asleep for most of the first half but woke up with renewed vigour and jumped non stop on the bouncing castle with Caleb and Khai Yao - laughing and shouting that 2 years old and below not allowed.  After the lovely parties, we headed home and we realised that Cayson's two front teeth (bottom row) is out. Also, he can now stand on his own for 2-3 seconds! 2 achievements unlocked all in one night. Even Cayen was excited for his brother too. What a great day it was! 

My hypothesis: Once upon a time, most bosses stayed in their own offices in their own world, with their doors usually closed and one needed to make an appointment to get an audience. Then one day, one enlightened one decided to have an open door policy so that staff could approach them more easily. The next enlightened one decided that to promote even more interaction, there should be no offices, everyone should just sit with everyone - in the name of better collaboration & communication. This seemed to make lots of sense for certain industries like the creative ones who need to discuss a lot , and for the traders. Then someone decided that there should be no partitions, let everything be open concept. The idea caught on. And before we knew it, everyone else just copied blindly, regardless of the nature of their work.  Well, this is a good concept theoretically, until you have hardworking, high volumed colleagues who am not aware of their own volumes, until you need to focus...

Day 17 - Mon Decided to call her Handphone again. Someone picked up but they didn't seem to understand me. No reply to message. Day 18 - Tue  I called agency and asked her if I should cancel the work permit. She advised me to wait as she just had a helper who got stranded in Philippines due to typhoon and flight cancellation that day. But my helper supposed to be back last Thursday. Then again,  I wondered if it's due to the earthquake last Wednesday , but phone has ringtone and people picked up.  By night , I went to her room to check what she left behind. Still some home clothes left but not much. Also, I noticed the few $2 notes that's part of a fengshui display on a shelf in her room is no longer there - I had left it there earlier as litmus test of honesty.  I guessed she's not coming back.  Day 19 - Wed Worked till 11pm. Very tired.  Day 20 - Thurs Called agency again. Local agency managed to track her down via Facebook. She said she's not coming back...

Day 10 - Mon  It was a most eventful day. Baby took a while to sleep.  Day 11 - Tue  I went for yoga lesson today and had a good stretch. However, the good lesson experience was marred by their silly booking system where one cannot book sessions outside of a certain operating hours so it's "fair" to customers ie one cannot book in the wee hours of the night, especially for busy branches at Ngee Ann city.  However, for a busy professional working at my branch in CBD , I only have time to book in the late of the night or early morning before the working hours begin. Currently , I find that I am unable to secure lunch slots and after work slots to start with on many days and the inability to book using the app at all hours is making things worse.  Also , one can't book ahead of time like 2-3 weeks in advance. If the concern is about overcrowding and to be fair, then they should have a policy that each member can only book up to x times per peak hour per week. It's ...

Day 9 - Sun  Brought Cayen for his sports class and then for some Korean BBQ to take in more iron. We also let him try to cook his own meat for the first time. It's good fun for him. While variety is not huge, but for price of $24.90 per pax with 15% discount using DBS card for a buffet with decent meats, one could not complain much. Also, with $8 top up, one can opt for a collagen soup with different flavours too. Good for hungry people.  Went home thereafter and tried to keep everyone entertained at home. Baby seemed to have a bit of flu and so we started the onion in sock treatment again.   Ah Gong and Ah Po were asked to play chess with Cayen repeatedly - 输了还要继续玩. They also realised how Cayen kept winning them - he sneakily placed the chess pieces in such a way that he would devour them the moment they turned over the chess piece. While that's super sly and scheming , we were also amazed at how he thought of the idea himself at a grand age of 4.5 years old.  Anyw...

Day 6 - Thursday  Today, I went for "Core" yoga during lunch. This must be the most challenging session ever. There's so much planking and stretching that my abs area is still hurting now as we speak. While it's sheer torture, I somehow think it might be effective as I was able to really work out, even more than all the hot yoga or Hatha that I have been to so far. Joining random yoga lessons that fit my schedule has been really interesting so far . Also , my mind has no time to stray (think abt home or work), I had to focus on following the instructions for all the different lessons as they are all new to me.  Looking back, I have also kept to my plans of going once a week (except for one week where I was overseas). Kudos to myself.  Cayson sleep : done in half an hour.  Day 7 - Friday  Every morning, he would come into my room to "wake Cayen up" . Usually I will also point to the Abc chart and read to him just A, B and C. Apparently, ah Pa did it too but g...

Woke up earlier to play with Cayson at 6.20am so hopefully his separation anxiety won't be so bad. But can't do this every day as I need to sleep to function properly and not fall sick.  By morning, I have received great news about the safe delivery of my new godson Owen! We quickly hurried to the hospital in the evening to visit and to welcome this precious one. It was also good to see Julian promoted to big brother too, and happily receiving the "gifts from baby". Baby Owen, welcome to this world !  Little prince  When we returned home, Cayson was wailing the house down as he's overtired after refusing to lie down and sleep for the last 1 hour. He was doing his standing up act again. Thankfully he finally quietened down after 10 minutes of coaxing. Thankfully Godma Hsien was around to help out , else we might not be able to go visit Owen too. 

Day 3 was uneventful for me as I was working. Godma came to help out and of course was invited to play lots of chess.  Day 4 was his 9 month check up which I took leave for.  Previously, for Cayen, all his vaccinations were taken at PD as I didn't know better. But thereafter, I learnt that vaccinations is possible at polyclinics and quite a few vaccines are actually free.  Hence, for Cayson, we didn't sign up any  PD vaccination package. Initially we thought of using Gp for the shots for convenience (just opposite our house & no queue), but the vaccination process was not smooth to say the least so we decided to go to the polyclinic after all.  The experience was way better than all the 2 PDs and GP's this far.  - there's no prolonged wait - we got to go in within 5 minutes of the appointment time (though we waited 15min as we were early) - there's no vaccination at 9 months but they did milestone check like hearing and checking that baby's eyes follow ...

Day 1 evening :  Sent helper to airport. Tabao the yummy Seng Kee mee sua home for dinner since we are in the vicinity. Just like an angel, baby slept at 8pm after his milk. Woke up at 12midnight for milk and slept till 6am.  * success *  Day 2:  I've got some company work to do so ah pa and ah gong brought Cayen and Cayson to swim. After that , Cayson managed to sleep for one hour (rare good stretch for his nap). After I finished, we took them down to the pool again for scooting since the kampong was down to play. Then , we went to this Ang Mo Kio industrial park for some good zichar .. Bill was only $111 for claypot herbal chicken, venison in Indonesian sauce, 3 egg spinach, claypot tofu, seafood beehoon which was a little too filling for 6 adults and 1 kid.  By night, I fed Cayson milk and he closed his eyes after his milk. I was silently congratulating myself on the second success when he suddenly rolled over to and fro , and decided to pull himself up....

Advanced hokkien : "Mai Cah!" (Don't be noisy) . Persuasion :  "输了还要继续玩”... "Ah gong, you need to play until you win" .. That's his pitch to persuade ah gong to play game after game.   Singlish : "Nevermind lah"  Logic : "you eat me, I eat you" , during chess play .. On an unrelated note: I realised that Cayen can spell Cayson's name when he wrote his name on some art work. Wonder when he picked it up. I only recalled telling him long time ago.