Consequences

What started splendidly unfortunately didn't end so well. Got a note from the teacher in the afternoon that Cayen has been bitten on the leg by a classmate. Root cause? During music class, as the class was asked to sit down facing the glass mirror, Cayen refused to sit. One of his classmates whom he was not so close to shuffled up near to him. 

He , as usual, don't like unfamiliar people to be too near him (he feels his personal space is invaded) so he went and push him. So in retaliation he bit Cayen. 

When teacher told me, she was quite apologetic. But I told her it's ok because when he push people, he needs to know that there's consequences. In fact, please quarantine him. 

Teacher explains that he knows pushing is Wrong and he will apologise.,and they will use encouragement to change his behaviour ie using stickers to incentivise. During class, we will ask him to speak more and ask more questions. Sometimes they will sit on the small chair to cool down. Now he has a few good friends to play together but with respect to other friends , he's still not willing to share. Let's work together to help him improve. 

宇恆他也知道推人是不对的。他做错事情后会道歉。我们会通过鼓励的方式来改善他的一些行为，比如贴纸来鼓励他。上课叫他多发言，多回答问题。有时候也会让他坐在小椅子上冷静一下。 现在他也有几个要好的朋友会一起玩。但对其他的小朋友还是会不愿分享。 希望我们一同配合帮助他不断进步。谢谢你！

I also shared with the teacher again that I read a book on strong willed kids and the way they learn is through consequences (ie actions instead of just words) so perhaps they can try. 

Teacher explained that he's actually very smart but just need to improve his self restraint. When they reason with him, he actually understands. So they will use encouragement to positively encourage good behaviour because if they over focus on his wrong behaviour, he may do more to get attention. 

宇恆很聪明，就是在自我约束方面需要加强。我们会告诉他道理，他也很明白。我们会多用鼓励的方法来正面强化他做的对的地方。有时候如果我们太关注他做的不对的地方，可能他会故意这么做来得到关注。非常感谢你的配合与支持，希望在我们共同努力下，宇恆在自我约束方面会不断进步。

There are a few kids in class that he prefers and he would practively hold their hands and share toys. Howeve, he becomes more self centred when it comes to the classmates he's not close to. This is part and parcel of this growing up phase. 

班上现在有几个他比较喜欢亲近的小朋友，他会主动和他们拉手，也会分享玩具。不熟的小朋友他就会表现出很强的自我意识。这些都属于他们这个阶段成长的一部分。

Well, let's hope that this is indeed a phase that he will grow out of.